A Mysterious, Possibly Apocalyptic Foam Blob Has Overrun Santa Clara, California

FOAM
The end of days is nigh. Twitter/@ShepNewsTeam

Don't get your hopes up, global warming deniers. Though pictures and videos circulating the internet may indicate otherwise, Santa Clara, California, did not receive multiple feet of snow Thursday night. The fluffy white substance that covered the San Francisco suburb Friday morning was actually foam. Glorious, undulating, possibly delicious foam.

When the white blob first started to overtake Martin Avenue around 12:30 p.m., its origin was a mystery. Is this the first of a series of plagues meant to wreak havoc on the nation's suburban centers to punish white America for electing an orange blob to the presidency? Should we be heading to our survival bunkers? Could the foam be the answer to the energy crisis? Should we be harvesting as many buckets as possible and bringing them with us to the bunker?

No, unfortunately there was a totally logical explanation for the substance that appeared to be emanating from the west side of the San Jose International Airport.

We are aware of the FOAM incident from Fire Suppression system that malfunctioned. @SJFD notified. Santa Clara Agencies providing support.

— Santa Clara CA Fire (@SantaClaraFD) November 18, 2016

For a few glorious hours, though, playing in foam spewing from a fire suppression device became the new playing in water spewing from a fire hydrant. A few people even rode bikes through it.

Guy just rode his bike through the foam. Now police are blocking it off to prevent copycats. pic.twitter.com/QF0ubBFXUp

— Ann Rubin (@AnnRubinKTVU) November 18, 2016

"Yeah, someone had to do it," one of the foam riders told a local Fox affiliate. "We were on the other side and the officers over there were like 'you should ride through.' And I was like, 'OK you guys don't mind?' So we decided to do it,"

The man's intrepid venture into uncertainty—which he said stood 10 feet high—was not without its costs. He added that at one point he ran into a sign.

Residents who weren't willing to interact with the foam documented its hypnotic spell.

It's drawing quite the crowd in San Jose, this foam blob from a fire retardant malfunction filled Martin st pic.twitter.com/O7QQRf5LpK

— Susie Steimle (@SusieKPIX) November 18, 2016

Firefighting foam released from back of @FlySJC hangar is blowing around in the wind. It looks like soap, but I wouldn't advise touching it. pic.twitter.com/fDI3j0gmP7

— Jonathan Bloom (@BloomTV) November 18, 2016

Check out this awesome bike rider, cycling through a spewing foam spill in Santa Clara. Rad! https://t.co/tr3AyNrUOu pic.twitter.com/E7ZrO0HR5s

— NBC Bay Area (@nbcbayarea) November 18, 2016

And of course, Twitter had jokes.

bae: come over
me: I can't I'm a giant mysterious slow moving blob of foam
bae: my parents are out of town
me: pic.twitter.com/AtL6diq513

— PAPPADEMAS (@PAPPADEMAS) November 18, 2016

Honestly, a foam blob consuming America wouldn't even be the scariest hypothetical future we've previewed this week https://t.co/NWypmysWZa

— Jarett Wieselman (@JarettSays) November 18, 2016

police have still not shot white foam and are trying to get it to surrender peacefully https://t.co/Ug1V9fKQsn

— Charles Star, Hostile Witness (@Ugarles) November 18, 2016

Santa Clara's day of foam is soon to come to a close, though. Just before 3:30 p.m. local time, the fire department tweeted that the "#FOAM" cleanup was underway, and that the city's streets would be back to normal in "several hours." Until then, Santa Clarans, unchain your bicycles and hit the streets. The city belongs to you and the #FOAM. Just make sure to wear a helmet.