Jon Stewart Is a Violent Sociopath Who Must Be Stopped

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“Daily Show” host Jon Stewart Lucas Jackson/Reuters

Recapping The Daily Show With Jon Stewart is a dark, ancient art, a skill that pretty much anyone who's entered online media since 2011 has acquired, this writer included.

But writing tweets about articles about Daily Show happenings is an altogether shadier practice. Lately, Salon.com has been leading the herd. We're not sure how we've been so blind to Stewart's increasingly violent behavior for so long, but that's not important. What's important is that he be stopped before he disembowels, firebombs or annihilates more victims:

Must-see morning clip: Jon Stewart makes ground beef of Open Carry nuts who want to bring rifles into Chipotle http://t.co/5vk0sm56fT

— Salon (@Salon) May 21, 2014

Must-see morning clip: Jon Stewart disembowels Karl Rove for his role in the rise of the Tea Party http://t.co/t0xe64smYz

— Salon (@Salon) October 23, 2013

Must-see morning clip: Jon Stewart breaks out his swear jar, blowtorches US politicians' indifference to veterans http://t.co/ozS91aAqNv

— Salon (@Salon) May 20, 2014

Jon Stewart firebombs GM for its corporate greed and deadly negligence. Most satisfying video you'll see this week http://t.co/TkckRXIVLI

— Salon (@Salon) April 3, 2014

Must-see morning clip: Jon Stewart takes a wrecking ball to Fox News' food stamp lies -- and humiliates Eric Bolling http://t.co/bh8YBNhHNk

— Salon (@Salon) March 14, 2014

Jon Stewart just annihilates Fox News for its embarrassing coverage of the Chris Christie scandal. WATCH http://t.co/Czqg2lw0pw

— Salon (@Salon) January 16, 2014

Watch Jon Stewart absolutely demolish CNN in a matter of minutes. VIDEO http://t.co/5CGqLUniId

— Salon (@Salon) October 30, 2013

VIDEO: Jon Stewart just destroys Karl Rove for his role in the government shutdown. Well worth your two minutes http://t.co/WfrHhXuESv

— Salon (@Salon) October 23, 2013

Must-See: Jon Stewart destroys Rand Paul's condescending speech at Howard University [video] http://t.co/2xvyODg4ds via @TheDailyShow

— Salon (@Salon) April 12, 2013

Must-see morning clip: Jon Stewart roasts Fox News for its "War on Christmas" -- and its enormous inferiority complex http://t.co/DWNWZ2TkXQ

— Salon (@Salon) December 4, 2013

Must-see morning clip: Jon Stewart tears GOP apart over government shutdown. Maybe his best riff since returning http://t.co/mB2hXBGCI2

— Salon (@Salon) October 1, 2013

Salon's been ringing the alarm for a year now. The rest of the Internet, thankfully, is finally taking notice of Stewart's violence:

Jon Stewart rolls gun nuts in a damn burrito and slathers em in mole sauce ftw @Salon

— luke oneil (@lukeoneil47) May 21, 2014

Let's be real. If a right-wing celebrity was responsible for that sort of carnage, we'd call it what it is. We'd call it despicable.

Note: Salon tweets were first compiled on my Tumblr.