Man Backed for Pulling Out of Wedding Due to 'Vile' Groomsman's Plan

A man who has refused to attend a wedding after being told another member of the wedding party is planning legal action against him has sparked debate online.

On Thursday, a user on the popular discussion site Mumsnet explained the story—that she said was actually really her husband's story. She explained: "17 years ago when my husband was a student, he gave his friend free dental treatment. My husband is an extremely loyal friend and is still good friends with all of his old school friends.

"This particular friend, call him John, is a total waste of space and made no effort with my husband for years so they lost touch and they fell out years ago because I didn't invite him to my husband's surprise birthday party."

Men fighting in suits
A file photo of two men having a heated argument. The internet is divided after a man revealed he wants to pull out of a friend's wedding after another threatened legal action against him. wernerimages/Getty Images

But it turned out their paths were soon to cross again when they would both be ushers at a mutual friend's wedding in the fall. But ahead of the event, John had raised an issue.

"Completely randomly John messaged my husband to say he's having issues with the tooth my husband treated 17 years ago," explained the Mumsnet user. "He wants several thousand pounds or he's going to take legal action against him. He also said that he was planning to discuss this at the wedding in the fall."

Upset that her husband was going to be "ambushed" and the man was set to potentially cause a scene at their friend's wedding, the poster explained that John would have no case against her husband legally, but that the ordeal meant her husband no longer wanted to attend the wedding.

"The groom knows about all of this and is annoyed with John," wrote the poster. "But still really wants my husband to be there for him."

A five-hour drive away, the poster explained that she would not be attending the wedding as they have a young baby that has not been invited. She asked the forum: "Is my husband being unreasonable wanting to back out?"

In the U.S., the baby boomer generation is the first where the majority of people will keep their natural teeth for their entire lifetime. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), even though more adults are keeping their teeth, there is still a wide range of Americans with unmet dental needs due to treatment costs and difficulty accessing treatment.

In fact, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services says that for every adult aged 19 years or older without medical insurance, there are three that don't have dental insurance. The CDC says that more than 1 in 4 adults in the U.S. have untreated tooth decay, and more than half of adults aged 30 years or older show signs of gum disease.

Shocked by the story of the argument about the dental work over a decade ago, Mumsnet users were divided in opinion.

"All ridiculous," wrote one commenter: "Your husband backing out of the wedding when it's not the groom's fault isn't fair. John sounds like a nut job. Tell him to take legal action and see how far he gets, as you know, it won't be far."

Other Mumsnet users agreed that it was important the husband put the wedding first: "It's a bit unfair on the groom making him choose. I'd just calmly say ok sure bud, let's discuss in court and avoid him as much as possible."

But many agreed that not attending the wedding was perfectly understandable: "I think your husband is wise not to go. The groom is naive to think it will work, and unfortunately needs to choose between your husband and John," said one commenter. While another wrote: "I wouldn't want to go either if I was your husband. The groom can sort it or he can accept that your husband doesn't fancy a day of abuse and won't be there."

One commenter questioned the groom and wrote: "It may not be fair on the groom to cancel, however I question the person who is still friends with such a vile person."

In other wedding controversies this week, one bride was slammed online for expecting her nephew to choose her wedding over a holiday. Meanwhile, another woman was backed after she shared that she planned to spend $18 on a wedding gift for her best friend.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.