Man Backed for Revealing to Family That 'Sister' is Actually Mom

Commenters in a viral internet forum supported a man after he revealed to a family member that his older sister is actually his biological mother, causing a fight to ensue.

The anonymous woman, known as u/wanted_the_truth, posted about her situation in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received nearly 10,500 upvotes and 1,700 comments.

In an article written for Psychology Today by marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein, she explained that there are three types of family secrets:

  • Individual secrets: A secret kept by one person and hidden from the entire family
  • Internal family secrets: involves two or more family members keeping information from other family members.
  • Shared family secrets: information that is known by the family but not to outsiders
Man finds out sister is actually mom
A man went viral after revealing his older sister is actually his biological mom and that she began ignoring him once he found out. Many commenters supported the man for trying to find out the truth from his family members. AntonioGuillem/iStock

According to Epstein, internal family secrets create subgroupings within families which can create strife and make individuals feel that they have to choose one side.

This is called split loyalty and occurs when an individual feels the need to choose one person over another due to the secret.

In the post titled "AITA for revealing my 'sister's' truth to a family member that made everyone lose their s**t on my parents and her?" the man, 21, explained that he believed Grace, 40, was his older sister but recently found out that she's actually his mother.

He also said that Grace has been ignoring him for five months since he found out she is his biological mom.

"My 'parents' pretended to be my parents because from what they told me it was better that way for everyone since Grace wasn't ready to be a mom," the post read. "I've been wanting to hear her side ever since but she decided to block me."

The man said Grace wanted to "drop" the issue and not have her husband find out. The man said he's been asking to sit down with Grace and hear her side, but said she's been silent since he found out.

"Why I'm asking if I'm an a**hole is because the other weekend me and my cousin had beers at his house. Me being drunk af I started crying about everything going, he asked me what's wrong and I told him everything," the post read. "S**t BLEW UP. Nobody, nobody in my family knew about this."

The next morning, the man said he woke up to everyone texting and calling him, including his parents.

"Now everybody in the family knows and they've even reached out to Grace on my behalf telling her if I wanna talk to her then she owes me at least that," the post read.

He said none of this should be kept a secret from Grace's husband but that Grace called his parents crying because they had a fight and he's staying with his parents.

Now, Grace is telling him that this is his fault for not "letting it go" and that people are even mad at his parents for "lying" about this.

"I know none of that would've happened if it hadn't been for me saying something," the post read. "But also feel that after being the one who got lied to I was owed some answers too. AITA?"

Nearly 2,000 users commented on the post, with many supporting the man for wanting answers about his biological mother.

"NTA: you didn't reveal 'her truth' you revealed your truth," one user commented. "You're allowed to share whatever details about your life that you want."

"Keeping secrets like this from family—and from significant others—is never okay. You are not in the wrong here OP, and you are without a doubt NTA," another user commented.

"I'm from a family with A LOT of these types of secrets. They always end up in the situation that you are in now. Their anger is being pointed toward you, but none of this is your fault at all," another wrote. "Do NOT let them turn you into the a**hole in this mess that they created."

Newsweek reached out to u/wanted_the_truth for comment.

One woman went viral in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum after she threatened her sister with a restraining order. She explained that she adopted her sister's baby when she was born but was recently told her sister "wants her daughter back."

In one viral Reddit thread, more than 17,000 users shared their family secrets. One user mentioned their mom got pregnant young and her older sister adopted the baby and raised her on her own. She just recently found out that her cousin is her sister.

Another user recalled one Christmas when their dad's brother drank too much and hinted he had an affair with their mother.

"Thanks to the power of genetic comparison, the family eventually managed to confirm his story. Not only had @oliveotherraindeer's uncle slept with their mother, he had fathered their sister," the user wrote.