Man Dating 'Gold Digger' Slammed Over How He Handled Daughter's Reaction
A dad has been slammed for not inviting his daughter to dinner after she called his girlfriend a "gold digger."
In a post on Reddit, user u/aitathrowww-c shared his dilemma, and it has received more than 8,000 upvotes.
"I've never been particularly close with my daughter," he wrote. "After me and her mom divorced when she was 13, I saw her maybe once every 2-3 months and on birthdays/holidays. I do blame myself for that, after the divorce I went into a sort of midlife crisis."
A 2022 Ipsos poll of 1,005 U.S. adults found that men are more likely to have dated someone 10 or more years younger than them, compared to women (25 percent against 14 percent).
The man explained that he has dated multiple women in recent years, but has been with his current girlfriend for around six months. But when he invited his family for dinner to meet her, things became heated.
"Everyone seemed to like her, we had a fun dinner," he wrote. "But then after a few glasses of wine me and my daughter got into this small argument, I honestly don't even remember what it was about, and during that argument she called my girlfriend a gold digger and left shortly after. She generally just ruined the whole dinner."
The argument upset the dad, and when he planned a BBQ a few weeks later, he decided not to invite his daughter.
"I'm not delusional, I know one of the reasons that my girlfriend is with me is money and I assume everyone else in the family knows that too, same way one of the reasons I'm with my girlfriend are her looks," he wrote. "But I didn't invite my daughter. She very obviously doesn't like my girlfriend and I didn't want a repeat of the last situation."
Sam Holmes, editor-in-chief of relationship-advice site Feel & Thrive, told Newsweek: "Relationships that are based purely on motives like money and looks are lacking in the emotional connection, depth, and genuine love that are crucial components of a healthy relationship. It's a slippery slope, and one that is likely to lead to disappointment and heartache."
When his daughter found out she had not been invited to the event, she was hurt and made sure her dad knew it.
"She sent me some angry messages calling me a 'selfish narcissistic p****,' and for whatever reason one of my sisters has taken her side and said I should have invited her."
Turning to the internet for advice, the dad asked if he was wrong to have excluded his daughter from the BBQ, and Reddit users overwhelmingly dragged him.
"So you're acknowledging that she's with you at least partly for your money... but your daughter doesn't have the right to share that opinion?" read one reply. "Enjoy being a sugar-daddy, I guess, since it's clear you don't have any interest in a real relationship with your kid."
Another Redditor wrote: "Why are you so offended when your daughter is right? You are a selfish narcissistic p****, if you've essentially abandoned her for her entire teenage years and now you're trying to introduce your sugar-baby to the family as a serious relationship. She's closer to your daughters age than your own."
Holmes said: "On one hand, I understand why he may not want to invite her after the argument at dinner, especially if she is prone to outbursts that will upset other guests at the dinner. But, on the other hand, as a parent, it's important to put your differences aside and maintain a positive relationship with your children, especially your adult children who may need your support and guidance."
Another Reddit user slammed the dad, writing: "Sounds like you're a deadbeat dad playing out 'daddy' with your new girlfriend."
One commenter agreed and posted: "Either work on a relationship with your daughter or stay out of her life. Her lashing out is likely over her sadness that you're not there for her."
Holmes said of this: "To fix the relationship with his daughter, the dad needs to take a step back and reflect on his own actions and motives.
"This situation serves as a reminder of how easily our priorities and values can become skewed. Relationships based on shallow motives like money and looks are not only unhealthy but also have the potential to harm our relationships with the people who matter most in our lives," he added.
Newsweek reached out to u/aitathrowww-c for comment. We were unable to verify the details of this case.
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