Man Dragged for Letting Wife Nap for Mother's Day, Spending $290 on Own Mom

A man who ignored his own wife on Mother's Day in favor of his mom, spending most of his family's money on her, is being dragged.

Writing to the Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, u/PortableChaos719 earned over 11,300 upvotes and 1,300 comments for her post, "[Am I the A**hole] for 'overreacting' about how everything went down on mothers day?"

She says that her friends and husband think she's overreacting, but she wanted an unbiased source to weigh in. She has two sons, 12 and 9, from a previous relationship, and has been with her husband for eight years, married for five.

She says she's been feeling like all the people in her life have been expecting her to fix everything for them, and that she's been "pouring from an empty cup for some months now." On Mother's Day, she says she took a nap while her husband watched the kids—and what a nap: it lasted between 11 a.m. and 7 p.m.

But when she finally woke up, things were not what she expected. She asked if her husband had cooked the food she had thawing for dinner. He didn't, because he didn't feel like cooking. The kids had been fed, though, just with instant soup instead of something more substantial.

"I just thought it was incredibly selfish and inconsiderate. Mainly due to the fact that he didnt want to cook because he was playing video games. I didnt get any cards or gifts or anything. All I did was take a nap," u/PortableChaos719 wrote.

In a comment, she added that her kids didn't know it was Mother's Day. She said their school doesn't celebrate—in order to not alienate students without a mother—and that her husband didn't mention it. Her eldest son, however, was upset he didn't know and wrote her a handwritten letter the next day.

She said that since dinner hadn't been cooked, she was going to head out and get a meal from a restaurant. Her husband then asked if he could get her something from "a different place clear across town." She says she pointed out that it was Mother's Day, and he should go instead—and though he initially complained because he was busy playing video games, he relented.

"He came back with something I didnt want because he 'thought I would like it' and later admits that we didnt actually have money for the thing I wanted (steak and shrimp which is kinda pricey)," u/PortableChaos719 wrote.

Surprised at the lack of funds, as they had $400 in their joint account on Saturday, she asked what happened to the money. He said that he sent his mother $250 to pay for her car payment and a $40 flower bouquet. Since u/PortableChaos719 only got a nap and a substandard dinner, she was upset—but her husband and friends say she's "blowing this out of proportion."

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A man is being dragged on Reddit for ignoring his wife on Mother's Day in favor of an expensive gift for his own mom. iStock/Getty

Husbands who don't appreciate their wives on Mother's Day—assuming, of course they're actually mothers—are playing a dangerous game, relationship expert Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil says. The day after Mother's Day is the day cheating-based dating service brings in the most female sign-ups, Dr. Weil writes on her website.

"It is imperative that men honor the work involved in being a wife, mother, and holding down a job outside the home, especially on Mother's Day—the one day of the year husband's can honor the dedication and specialized work involved in being a mother. It is essential for men to show they value their wives at the home and at the office, especially men who invalidate, ignore, or do not listen can send a message of being taken for granted or not appreciating her," Weil wrote.

Reddit largely agreed that her husband should have done better this Mother's Day.

"[Not the A**hole] - Your husband spent nearly 75% of the limited funds you had in what I assume was a joint account without discussing it with you? That alone is cause for major concern within your marriage," u/Forward_Squirrel8879 wrote in the top-rated comment with nearly 20,000 upvotes.

"I don't even get this. I don't like my daughters dad but I always make an effort to buy a present or help make a card for our daughter to give to him for Father's Day because it's not about me it's about the kid and the other parent," u/Ecstatic_Policy_1569 wrote.

"[Not the A**hole] but forget this one day--you have a problem that your husband isn't a full, participating member of the household, and he took a significant amount of money from a joint account without telling you," u/Sea-Mud5386 wrote. "New ground rules. Now. He learns to cook, he gets off his ass from the video games and manages more of the household work, and you have an agreement about what comes out of that account. You're burned out because he treats you like dirt and then is peeved that you don't accept that quietly."

"[Not the A**hole]. I would also be p**sed my husband can afford to gift his mum almost $300 but couldn't even get dinner I'd wanted. Give him the same on fathers day and see how he likes it," u/Lyria666 wrote.

"I was going to say calm down until I saw the last bit. Oh hell no, he did not go above and beyond for mommy and not you. He should have cleared it with you before paying his mama's bills, especially with so little in the bank," u/Minute_Box3852 wrote.

Newsweek reached out to u/PortableChaos719 for comment.