Man's Refusal to Buy 'Expensive' Engagement Ring for Girlfriend Sparks Fierce Debate

A man has taken to Reddit to share how he does not want to buy his girlfriend an "expensive" engagement ring, and it has really divided opinion online.

Posting to the discussion-based site, the 26-year-old, who goes by the account name Dry-Body-7578, revealed that he had been with his girlfriend for four years, and they have recently been discussing marriage.

He explained that his significant other is "pretty low maintenance," has "never cared about designer brands" and rarely buys new clothes or jewellery.

The man also admitted that while he grew up with not much money he has a good job, making over $80,000 per year.

He continued: " My GF [girlfriend] and I have always seemed to be on the same page when it comes to saving money. I assumed she would be fine with a more affordable ring."

However, when he suggested a moissanite ring costing in the $1,500 to $1,800 price range, his girlfriend insisted on a diamond, sending him options between $6,500 and $10,000.

The man wrote: "I told her that I wasn't willing to spend that much. She seemed genuinely mad and said it wasn't 'that expensive.' We got in a pretty big argument over it.

"I told her that it was ridiculous to ask me to spend that much... She said I was being cheap and that I could afford it and that I was basically saying she wasn't worth it. I told her no one is worth a 10,000 ring..."

Although the girlfriend eventually conceded, the Redditor believes "she's clearly still mad."

He then relayed his conversation with his older sister who sided with his girlfriend as she has "done so much" for him.

What he means by this is after he was in a serious car accident at the start of their relationship, he lived with his girlfriend rent-free and she "helped pay for a few expenses and for physical therapy."

He describes how she also got him a job at an insurance company via her uncle "and was really supportive."

The man ended the post by asking if he was being unreasonable and stating: "Obviously I've thanked her for all she did for me but it's not something we talk about much.

"I don't think I'm obligated to buy an expensive ring because she helped me out a few years ago."

Tradition dictates that an engagement ring should cost as much as a two-month salary, however this stems from a marketing campaign by De Beers diamonds in 1947.

However, according to data from data from The Knot, the average engagement ring price in 2019 in the U.S was $5,900.

The story has gained lots of traction on Reddit since it was posted on October 26, with nearly 4,000 comments debating his actions.

A large proportion of people felt that the man was in the wrong, including an account called Not_cinderella who revealed that while they "don't have a problem" with him not wanting to spend so much money on the ring, they were bothered by "his attitude towards his girlfriend."

Especially taking into consideration "how nice and caring she seems to be."

Another person, Partassipant, thought the situation was "absurd" due to the fact that "she went over and beyond for him taking care of his a** when they were pretty new and got him a job even. "

They added that considering she has "not been very materialistic except for now" he owes it to her to "take her feelings into consideration and make her happy when she asks to be spoiled this once given she's done a lot for him."

Enchantement opined: "At 80k income, it isn't absurd to spend 6k on an important "want" and it sounds like this is something that is important to OP's [original poster's] girlfriend.

They then revealed: "Personally, a diamond engagement ring isn't important to me or my SO [significant other], so mine is a lab sapphire.

"But if he came to me and told me it was important to him that I bought him a 6k diamond engagement/wedding ring, I'd do it because I care about what he values and he's not generally someone who asks for a lot."

Nmikmai commented: "This girl is worth WAY more than the way he's treating her right now.... And there's no reason behind saying no - diamonds are symbolic because they're the strongest, hardest substance there is. It's an investment made out of love."

However, others took the contrary opinion, such as Kittysue804, who typed: "If OP's girl needed help paying her rent or her bills or needed help after an accident then 100% he owes her.

"This isn't equal reciprocity because what she did for him (while exceptional particularly that early in the relationship) was a matter of basic needs, this is jewelry. I really don't think it's fair to compare the two scenarios."

Chimpbot stated: "No, it really is an absurd amount to spend on a piece of jewelry. My wife would have shot me if I had spent anything like that on an engagement ring."

Proposal
A stock image of a man presenting an engagement ring to a woman. One Reddit a debate has raged after a man shared how he did not want to buy his girlfriend an "expensive" ring. iStock