Man Slammed for Joking About Fiancée's Past Sex Work Over Dinner

Commenters in an internet forum criticized a man after he made a joke about his fiancée's past sex work during his birthday dinner with friends and family.

The anonymous woman, known only as u/RitaYouth5033, posted about the incident to Reddit's popular r/AmITheA**hole forum where it received nearly 18,500 upvotes and 2,300 comments, many mentioning that sex work is not something to joke about and the man's apparent lack of respect.

Sex workers are individuals who receive money or other compensation in exchange for sexual services. There are about 1 to 2 million full-service sex workers in the United States, although experts believe this number is an underestimate.

Yet many sex workers still face stigmas against their work making it difficult for them to receive health, legal, or social services. Sex work is also one of the most dangerous professions in the U.S. and sex workers are often vulnerable to abuse or incarceration.

Man criticized for rude joke at dinner
Commenters in a popular internet forum supported a woman for walking out of her fiancé's birthday party after he and his friend made a joke about her past sex work. Prostock-Studio/iStock

In the post titled "AITA for walking out of the restaurant over a joke between my fiance and his friend?" the woman, 30, explained that when she was in her mid-20s she was a sex worker.

"Not so proud of it but I had no choice," the post read. "I had to get money to be able to keep my siblings and myself from homelessness."

About a year ago, she met her fiancé Martin who knows all about her past. She said that although she feels that she hit the jackpot in the in-law's department, she doesn't particularly enjoy Martin's friends.

"Some of them make comments about my past and throw in some words that I find rather offensive but I thought to myself 'giiirl you just being too sensitive, just let it go,' the post read.

The woman explained that a week ago, a bunch of them went to a restaurant to celebrate Martin's birthday. She said that one of his friends, Antonio, has a "habit" of making insensitive jokes in public.

While the woman was speaking with her mother-in-law, she saw Antonio tell Martin how lucky he was to have such a great birthday celebration. As Martin agreed, Antonio complained about how he didn't have any family to celebrate his upcoming birthday with.

"He then told Martin 'perhaps I can borrow (my name) for some bJ on my upcoming birthday,'" the post read. "I was appalled, but when I turned to see how Martin would react, Martin just laughed and said 'hahaha well, how much are you willing to pay?'"

The woman said she froze and had a terrible look on her face as she looked at Martin. She then got up and gathered her belongings–including the gift she bought him–and left the restaurant.

Martin chased her saying it was just a "joke between him and his buddy" and that she was overreacting for "no reason at all."

"I started arguing with him about how he was not only ok with his buddy humiliating me but playing along in his God awful joke," the post read. "He insisted I overreacted and was being oversensitive. I got into a taxi and went home."

When Martin got home, he told her she "embarrassed" him and ruined his birthday party by leaving.

"I reminded him of what he did and he said it was just a joke! and the only one who has an issue with my past is me and I should seek therapy for being too sensitive all the damn time," the post concluded.

Nearly 2,400 users commented on the post, with a strong majority defending the woman and telling her she should consider breaking off the engagement.

"NTA. Dump him. Talking about pimping you out isn't a 'joke' it's a fundamental lack of respect for you," one user commented. "Time to pack your things and go OP. Martin is never going to respect you and you absolutely deserve a partner who respects you."

"Honestly that is horrible and him telling you to seek therapy because you're 'too sensitive?' Nope," another user wrote. "Although you may need therapy from all the gaslighting and emotional manipulation."

"So many abusive relationships start out with the abuser excusing, and justifying their words, with 'it's just a joke,'" another user commented. "Quickly paired with that is "stop being so sensitive.'"

Other users mentioned it was strange that Martin's friends even knew about her past.

"Why do his friends even know?! He never should have discussed her past without her permission. Total violation of her privacy," one user commented. "If for some unfathomable reason she did give permission, it should have been shared as an overcoming-the-odds story, not a 'locker-room' sewer talk about passing around the bjs."

Newsweek reached out to u/RitaYouth5033 for comment.