Man Wanting $500 a Month From In-Laws to 'Pay for Their Lifestyle' Slammed

A woman has been backed after she shared her anger that her brother-in-law wants her and her husband to "pay for their lifestyle."

In a post on the discussion site Mumsnet, the user MsPorridge explained that she was furious after her partner agreed to give his brother $500 per month for an indefinite amount of time.

Many people around the world have had to reassess their spending in the last year as inflation has soared around the globe. In the U.S., households are spending more on bills, food and gasoline, all while potential lay-offs and sky-high energy bills continue to cause issues.

"My partner went to visit his brother and his family last week," wrote the poster. "[His] brother started asking [my] partner how we are coping with cost of living and [my] partner was just honest and said that energy bills are more expensive, etc. but because our expenses have always been so low, we are ok."

With no children, car or pets, the couple are doing fine financially, despite the rising cost of living. They make around $3,000 a month together and save around $2,000 of that.

Money changing hands, couple argue
A file photo of money changing hands, and (inset) a picture of a couple in the middle of an argument. A woman has gone online to share her anger that her partner has agreed to give his brother $500 a month indefinitely for his lifestyle. muthardman/fizkes/Getty Images

But while at his brother's house, the man was greeted with an awkward situation. "His brother started almost crying to him asking if we could give them around 500 per month during an indefinite amount of time to help with the expenses," explained the woman.

"He didn't say a straight no and from what he has told me he made it sound like he would talk with me about it and almost like a yes," the woman wrote. "They have 3 children, live in a much nicer and bigger house than us, have 2 expensive cars, 1 dog, 1 cat and 2 rabbits.

"I see pictures of them dinning out often or going away for the weekend with the whole family, always seem to have new fancy clothes, always redecorating the house, and children have a few expensive hobbies/after-school activities etc. Which I'm happy for them and don't feel any jealousy about, but also don't see this is a desperate situation in which they are asking for money to put a meal on the table or pay the mortgage. They just need to adjust."

Florence Ann Romano, a personal-growth strategist and the author of Build Your Village: A Guide to Finding Joy and Community in Every Stage of Life told Newsweek that family support like this is not unusual.

She said: "Family supports family in many ways. This isn't out of the ordinary," but she added that, "What makes this situation different is that the struggle the family is having shouldn't need outside help. They need to come to terms with the personal and temporary changes they need to make."

In more than 300 replies on the post, Mumsnet users did not have any sympathy either.

One reply read: "Your partner should not be sharing personal financial information with anyone."

Another commenter wrote: "If it was a one off—we can't make the mortgage this month, the boiler has broken down—then yes I'd say being generous would be the kind thing. But subsidising them indefinitely? Absolutely not."

"No one is obliged to help anyone but most people would help a little if they could however a regular ongoing payment is not reasonable," agreed another Mumsnet user.

However, Romano explained that making lifestyle changes to save money isn't always easy. "Just like anyone, you get used to a certain way of living," she said. "Changes, especially financial, can be emotionally draining."

When it comes to making cuts to your spending, Romano said: "See where you can make cuts that don't take away all your joy. Sometimes, canceling a few subscriptions you rarely use could be enough."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

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