'Maybe It's Spiteful': Internet Backs Woman Refusing To Sell Home To Cheating Ex-Husband

One recent divorcée made waves when her refusal to sell her half of a shared home to her ex-husband went viral, stunning the internet.

In a viral thread posted on Reddit's popular r/AmITheA**hole (which boasts 3.4 million members), u/Avatarthe1Bender offered an explanation for why she refuses to sell her half of the house, and she didn't pull any punches. Titled "AITA for refusing to sell my half of the house to my ex-husband," the thread reveals infidelity and it has received nearly 10,000 votes and over 1,000 comments.

Explaining that she and her ex-husband had been married for 12 years before he "began to have an affair which led to the breakdown of our marriage," u/Avatarthe1Bender said that tension over infertility was a precursor to the affair. After suggesting adoption or surrogacy, the Redditor added that her ex-husband declined both options and resorted to cheating instead.

Following their divorce, ownership of the couple's home was split between the original poster and her ex-husband. But u/Avatarthe1Bender said her ex isn't happy about that.

"He is demanding I sell my half to him so he and his girlfriend (23F) can live together as they want to start trying for children," she explained. "He insists that I sell my half to him so he can start trying to have a family."

"Maybe it's spiteful of me but I'd sooner sell my half to a random on the street than him," she added.

While laws vary from state-to-state, most states within the United States have equitable distribution laws that ensure a fair separation of marital property following a divorce. According to Justia, all states except for Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin feature equitable distribution laws. To establish a fair division of marital property, a court will consider pertinent factors including the "financial condition and earning power of each spouse," "the degree to which each spouse contributed to the acquisition of marital property," and the "future financial needs and liabilities of each spouse."

Dream home divorce
One Redditor said their ex-husband is demanding she sell him her half of the house so he can start a family with his new girlfriend. monkeybusinessimages/iStock / Getty Images Plus

However, equitable distribution laws are only enacted when the divorcing couple cannot agree to terms for a fair division of marital property. In some cases, separated spouses elect to negotiate their own terms and even co-own larger assets like houses.

An article published by DivorceNet, a leading provider of consumer-focused divorce information, reports that home co-ownership following a divorce is especially common when children are involved, but is also an option when the real-estate market is weak. Despite its potential benefits, DivorceNet warns new divorcées of the disadvantages and potential disagreements that come with co-ownership — many of which are similar to the one described by u/Avatarthe1Bender.

Adding that she has "suggested that I buy his half instead," the Redditor said her ex-husband refused other compromises and says he needs the house to start a family.

In the post's top comment, that has received 17.5K votes itself, Redditor u/Forsaken-Leave5233 said the original poster's ex-husband caused the divorce, and should be responsible for establishing his own life elsewhere.

"[Not the a**hole]—He was the one who had the affair," they wrote. "He wanted a new life so bad, he can go make one for himself."

"He is not entitled to anything," they added.

Echoing the same sentiments, u/Tbluberry86 said the ex-husband had no grounds to make any demands, nonetheless his ex-wife's half of the house.

"F**k that noise. He has no right to make demands," they wrote. "[Not the a**hole]."

In their original post, u/Avatarthe1Bender described her house as her "dream home." In a comment that received 2,900 votes, u/skidoo1032 pointed out that, while her ex-husband might need a house to start a family, he doesn't need his ex-wife's dream home to do it.

"He doesn't need THAT house. He cheated, he gets no say in my book," they wrote."Either he sells to you or you both sell," they concluded definitively. "[Not the a**hole]."