From Smoking to Instagram: Men Reveal What They Won't Tolerate in a Partner

Everyone has different perceptions of what's a red flag, and what they can and can't tolerate in a relationship, from swearing to tardiness.

But now men are sharing the one thing which is the ultimate turn-off for them, and would cause them to end—or not entertain—dating someone.

A Reddit thread has attracted more than 8,400 upvotes and comments after u/Im_Not_A_Human_4 asked "what's something you will absolutely not tolerate in a partner?" in the Ask Men forum on Saturday.

One comment, from HaDes_Monsta, has 5,700 upvotes alone, as it covered a few massive no-nos.

File photo of woman smoking online.
A file photo of a woman smoking online. Men have revealed the one thing which they won't tolerate in a partner in a Reddit thread that has attracted more than 8,400 upvotes and comments. ckarlie / Anastasia Foxelle/Getty Images

They listed: "If I tell her something private and she... . 1 Makes jokes about it. 2. Tells it to others. 3. Tells it to her friends and they joke about it. 4. Uses it against me. 5. Acts like it doesn't matter / it's not important. No tolerance about that."

Im_Not_A_Human_4 gave their own verdict, saying: "Someone who tries to seek validation from social media and is not satisfied with the validation their partner gives them! Negative trait.

"On a second thought I don't think one shld [should] crave for validation if they are self confident."

Helpmehelpyoulong agreed, saying: "This. Women who post their whole lives on Instagram are a hard no for me. Had a shot at the hottest woman I've ever met but when I realized she couldn't even go to dinner without putting everything and I mean everything on Insta, that was a hard left."

Apprehensive-Rich114 wrote: "Poor emotional intelligence, and complaining as a hobby."

Deathexplosion thought: "Someone that can't have a conversation about serious matters."

DasEvoli fumed: "Silent treatment until you apologize for everything even when you are not at fault."

Ja_acabou reckoned: "Entitlement and narcissism. (Those kind of go hand in hand.)"

Creative_Strawberry6 responded: "Being very materialistic. I like nice things too but that doesn't need to be your personality."

Firstnameandnumbers1 rattled off a list: "Lack of humanity, rude to strangers, unwilling to communicate, no effort, acting fake, history of cheating, constant negativity, drama queen."

Brucewayne1935 observed: "Someone who likes getting trashy drunk. One of the most repulsive things I can find in a person."

Being very materialistic. I like nice things too but that doesn't need to be your personality."

Meh-nihilist stated: "Living their life via Facebook. The constant need for validation. Marriage lasted a year."

Important-Switch-379 pointed out: "My partner saying 'it's fine' or 'I'm fine' when you can easily tell something is not fine, or if you ask them to decide on something and they say 'you choose I'm fine with whatever' then you choose and they're not fine with it."

Redditthrowaway7755 added: "Hurting animals. If I saw someone I was dating hit their dog or cat that would be a massive deal breaker."

Others had different deal breakers, as SurgeDad said, "using metal utensils on non-stick cookware," That-shouldnt-smell admitted "outy bellybuttons" and SenorCerv drew the line at, "If they don't know the name of the chess pieces."

"Smoking" was cited by 1197V, while MidLyfeCrisys fumed, "Putting the TP roll on backwards. F*** off with that."

Scarcrowsksksksksk drew the line at "an OnlyFans" account, while Aggressive_Option_12 commented, "Littering. Drives me insane and I'd lose respect for my partner."

Rick_the_Rose wrote: "The thing I'm not seeing here is money management. That's a big deal to me."

The graph below, provided by Statista, shows some of the most expensive divorces in history.

Infographic: The Most Expensive Divorces in History | Statista You will find more infographics at Statista

While relationships break down for many reasons, a number of the scenarios listed above made it into the top 10 reasons people get divorced.

Website Divorce-Online revealed couples stopping loving each other and being bad with finances as major factors. Personal problems and a lack of love, affection, sex and communication were also major factors.

Also making the list were addictions, including alcohol, money problems and last but not least, cheating.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Im_Not_A_Human_4 for comment.