Mom-of-2 Applauded for Why She Branded Fiancé an 'Embarrassment'

Many rules go out the window during vacations, and that's exactly why this parent has been praised for refusing to enforce a bedtime during a family trip.

In a Reddit post, u/Fit-Respond3512 explained that, once a year, she takes her two sons, aged 9 and 12, on vacation. The kids "absolutely do not have a bedtime" for that one week. The trip often includes late-night activities including bonfires, karaoke, evening walks and nighttime swimming.

While the family loves making the most of the vacation by having no restrictions, this was the first time that the poster was accompanied by her fiancé for the trip. He became very "uncomfortable" with the lack of structure.

The National Sleep Foundation suggests that school-aged children require between nine and 11 hours of sleep each night. However, data revealed by the NSF in 2021 showed that children whose parents enforce a bedtime get more than one hour extra sleep per night, compared to children without a specific bedtime.

The Reddit post reads: "I made it clear that bedtime was not to be enforced like it was at home because this is vacation, and time with family, and I'm not making my kids miss out on nightly activities."

The boys might be up until midnight on some nights during the trip, but it's "once a year, it's no big deal," according to the mom. The fiancé disagreed with this entirely, though, and on the first night, he was "stressing out" over the lack of rules or structure.

By the second night, the fiancé continued to criticize the decision and made comments such as, "you're lucky you're even still awake right now, you should be in bed." The rest of the family were said to be "mortified that he had such an attitude."

"Last night my fiancé starts angry sighing every single time he looks at my kids still awake," the post continues. "I finally pulled him aside and told him he was a f****** embarrassment because he keeps saying these comments in front of my family, which leads to awkward silences and judgmental glances my way."

Feeling that the passive-aggressive behavior was ruining the trip, the mom told her fiancé that he should leave if he couldn't contain his resentment. He retaliated by saying that he was doing only "what's best for them."

Christine Brown is the founder of Bella Luna Family, a parent-consulting company that helps families deal with their biggest challenges, whether that's sleeping, potty training or behavior. Brown is a certified child sleep consultant, and she told Newsweek that it's perfectly fine to have "schedule flexibility," once a routine has been developed.

"I recommend the 80/20 rule, where 80 percent of the time, parents are focused on maintaining their schedule and routine," Brown said.

"The other 20 percent of the time, they can live a little. Bedtime can be a little later, or naps can happen on the go. As long as there is balance and parents get back to their schedule, sleep shouldn't be impacted."

Brown added that it's important to communicate a change of pattern with children, so they know that, as soon as the vacation is over, the usual routine will resume.

Since it was shared on March 12, the post has received more than 25,000 votes and over 3,600 comments. Many support the mom's firm stance and refusal to back down.

One Reddit user commented: "He has an opinion that differs from yours. He doesn't have to agree with you, but he does have to respect your decisions. He doesn't respect you and can't control himself. He made a fool of himself and openly showed his disdain to your entire family."

Another person wrote: "He's not concerned about the kids keeping a schedule, he's concerned about maintaining control. When someone shows you red flags, believe them."

Newsweek reached out to u/Fit-Respond3512 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.