'I'm Done': Mom Cutting Off Teen Daughter Financially Sparks Debate

A mom has sparked debate online after sharing her despair with her 18-year-old daughter, revealing that she's thinking of cutting her off financially.

Posted on popular discussion site Mumsnet on Monday, user BrokenToy shared the story, which quickly received hundreds of responses and opinions.

In the post, she explained: "My daughter is 18. She's been living pretty much at her boyfriend's house for months now. She informed me the other week that she doesn't live at home anymore so we'd have to pay her to babysit/dog sit for our weekend away. Weekend away had been booked for over a year. We were left with no choice but to stump up cash or lose hundreds on concert tickets and a hotel."

The frustrated mom explained that this isn't the only occasion her daughter has asked for money: "She sent me a text on Saturday about needing new jeans. I didn't respond," she said: "She then phoned me yesterday screaming down the phone that I'm abusive and neglectful and leaving her without clothes. Two weeks ago I gave her £50 to buy summer clothes for the holiday we are taking her on in July.

"She is constantly asking for small bits of cash here and there—tampons, printer credit for college, things like that that she knows I won't say no to."

Bank of Mom and Dad

In 2019, the Pew Research Center published a report analyzing Cenus Bureau data to find that just 24 percent of young adults are considered to be financially independent by 22, compared to 32 percent in 1980.

Some 45 percent of adults between the ages of 18 and 20 said they receive financial help from their parents, while 59 percent of parents say they support their adult children financially.

The most common expenses supported were groceries, tuition and housing costs.

"I'm done," wrote the Mumsnet user: "I'm about ready to say fine, you've moved out, no more monthly bus pass, pocket money, clothes, takeaways. She works five hours a week and could work more. She smokes and drinks. She's using us purely as a bank and only contacts us when she needs a top-up. I also really really don't want to take her on holiday but that's a sunk cost and at least it's all-inclusive so she won't be asking for cash."

The mom's dilemma divided opinion online, sparking debate among Mumsnet users, who headed to the comments.

"If she's not living at home she needs to support herself," wrote one commenter. While another agreed: "She wants to be a grown-up, living independently, so she shouldn't keep asking you for handouts."

In a later comment, the original poster explained that her daughter was at college as well as working five hours a week.

But others suggested that the mom should continue to help her daughter out financially. One commenter said: "Personally I would support her financially while she is still studying. But not after that."

Another Mumsnet user suggested: "Agree on a monthly budget for her while she's at college and don't pay more than this."

Other users agreed that it appeared the issue was bigger than money: "If it was my family I'd be doing my best to repair the relationship and put some healthy boundaries in place," said one comment. While another agreed: "I'd focus on your relationship with her and helping her work out this new step in her life."

In a later comment, the mom expressed yet more upset at the situation and wrote: "I know I might sound cold but honestly I am just broken by the whole thing. I don't know how to fix a relationship with someone who isn't interested."

Do you have a similar monetary dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Teen Daughter Argues With Mom
A file photo of a teenager arguing with her mom on the couch. A woman has sparked debate online after sharing that she is thinking about cutting off her daughter financially. gpointstudio/Getty Images