Mom-To-Be Branded 'Entitled Brat' for Expecting Mother To Babysit for Free

A mom-to-be has vented her disappointment at her mother not willing to step in to provide free childcare for her baby, saying she felt "let down."

The woman, in her early 20s, shared the family dynamic to Mumsnet, under username Essexgurlx, as she explained she and her partner of five years fell pregnant "unexpectedly."

The timing wasn't ideal, as she only just finished university and embarked on her professional career.

But her family was "delighted" with the news, as she explained her mom was a homemaker, and has been since she was in her 20s, raising two children of her own.

File photo of pregnant woman.
File photo of pregnant woman. A mom-to-be has been slammed for assuming her mom would provide free childcare. globalmoments/Getty Images

Now in her 50s, Essexgurlx said her mom "has lots of free time now as me and my sibling have both flown the nest and she does not plan to return to any work, does not study and does not volunteer etc."

The mom-to-be claimed she planned on returning to full-time work early next year, saying: "In my area full time nursery places are at least £1,000 ($1,225) per month and I (stupidly now I realize) just expected my mom to offer to care for my baby multiple days a week.

"My partner works four days per week in shift patterns where they would be overlap between our working hours but not to the extent of a full day.

"So for example I would work 7 a.m.-4 p.m. and he would work 2 p.m.-12 p.m. meaning my mom would only need to provide child care 2-4 p.m. not for full days or anything like that.

"My mom has made it clear she 'doesn't want to be tied down with a child' and is only interested in caring for her grandchild 'every now and again.' She has asked me multiple times what my plan is for nursery care."

She says she now felt "so stressed" at the prospect of forking out for childcare, saying her partner's parents work full-time, while her dad works two jobs.

Stop being an entitled brat and step up to your responsibilities rather than expect your mom to do it for you!"
WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe

She continued: "There is no other family to care for the baby while I am at work so I will have to put her in nursery or to a childminder. AIBU to feel upset and let down by my mother?

"I just expected more support from her—especially as she was so excited to have this first grandchild gloating to all her friends, posts about my baby all over her social media and threw a lavish baby shower inviting everyone she knew for her to now turn around and basically say she isn't offering any support."

The post, which can be read here, has amassed more than 500 responses since being shared on Tuesday.

In a follow-up comment she revealed her mom only lives "around the corner," as she admitted she'd been "presumptuous."

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe fumed: "What I would I do? Stop being an entitled brat and step up to your responsibilities rather than expect your mom to do it for you!"

Nurseynoodles pointed out: "She never offered you any childcare though. You made a massive and very entitled assumption."

EweCee commented: "Unless your mother explicitly offered to do your childcare, you were wrong, and unreasonable, to assume she would."

Snowflakes1122 thought: "Yabu to expect free childcare just because she is granny. Yes, some people are lucky enough to have parents willing to do this, but sadly your mother has made her position clear."

Piglet81 commented: "YABVU unless she offered and then retracted the offer. Why should she look after your child? I bet you weren't planning to pay her."

Bunnyfuller pointed out: "Mom owes you zero childcare. Even if she's delighted it doesn't mean she has volunteered to be the unpaid babysitter."

Although Buzzer3555 sympathized: "It's tough but your mom has been honest so there is not a lot you can do. She is not obliged to look after the child. Personally I think she is being a bit selfish but like I said you can't force her."

In the U.K., where the mom is thought to be based, parents can get 30 hours free childcare per week, for kids aged between 3 and 4, if they meet certain requirements, including income and employment status, according to the U.K. government.

Before that age, the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) stated parents pay on average over £7,000 ($8,583) a year for a part-time nursery place.

They advised: "If you're planning to return to work, it's essential to budget carefully for your childcare costs and claim all the help that's available."

The NCT broke down figures, writing: "The U.K., the average cost of sending a child under two to nursery is: £138 ($169) per week—part time (25 hours). £263 ($322) per week—full time (50 hours)."

The chart below, provided by Statista, shares reasons why Americans don't want kids, with cost a major factor.

Infographic: Why Americans Don't Want Kids | Statista You will find more infographics at Statista