Mom's 'Petty' Way of Making Family Prove They'll Look After a Dog Cheered
Getting a dog can be like having a new baby—and that is exactly why one mom who shared her dilemma on social media doesn't want one.
In a viral post on Reddit, the woman explained that her husband and two older children want a dog, but she fears she will be left to care for it.
She asked all three of them to do extra chores and take daily walks, to demonstrate that they could look after a pet without her help, but some family members think she has gone too far.
The woman also explained in her February 21 post that she and her husband had agreed before marriage that "all big decisions required two yes or no votes." On this issue, though, the couple is split.
Newsweek asked a parenting expert and a canine behaviorist if the mom's approach is a good idea.
'It Would Be Unusual for Parents Always To Agree'
Caroline Rowett, a parenting coach in London, told Newsweek: "We all come to parenting with our life experiences, which naturally influence our desires and decisions. Unless the power dynamic is unhealthily skewed, it would be unusual for parents always to agree.
"Disagreements are not problematic if handled maturely and with the family's best interests in mind. Good communication and self-awareness are integral to navigating differences of opinion without unpleasant conflict. Listening and being interested in a viewpoint that differs from yours deepens a relationship, generally enabling couples to reach more thoughtful conclusions."
The mom explained in her post that she would agree to a dog on three conditions.
She wrote: "One, smaller than 60 pounds, we do not need a mastiff. Two, a non-shedding dog only. None of us are allergic, I just don't want extra work.
"Three, for 60 days in a row they had to collect all the garbage from all the trash cans in the house and put it in the big garbage bin. That was to make sure they would remember to feed a dog every day."
The woman also expected her husband and two older children—the couple have a baby too—to go on a one-mile walk twice daily, wearing a GPS route tracker. If one day was missed, all three would have to start over.
So far, the trio have managed only about 14 days, suggesting that the mom was right to think they were not ready for a dog.
Her conditions have caused some friction in the household, however. Even the mom's parents have criticized her.
"My parents called me up to say I was being ridiculous and petty. I 100 [percent] agree with them. But since they always side with the kids, I was ready for them," she said.
The woman sent her parents information about a "reasonable" local dog walker and suggested they foot the bill.
Her husband "finally" agreed that "the kids aren't responsible enough to have a dog," she wrote, but he doesn't want to tell them he has changed his mind.
'This Mother Is Being Incredibly Responsible'
Stephanie Zikmann, author of I Can Be A Dog Detective!, told Newsweek the woman's method was "a little extreme" but effective.
She said: "The underlying message here is very important—dogs and pets, in general, are a huge commitment and not just the responsibility of one person in a family. Like children, it takes an entire community to care for an animal.
"I personally feel it's far better to be overly cautious when deciding to welcome a dog into the home, than not consider how much time and money is involved in raising a happy and healthy dog in a busy family home.
"We have to encourage our children to make responsible decisions, especially when it involves another living being. This mother is being incredibly responsible."
The Comments
Almost 2,000 people have commented on the Reddit post, which has been upvoted about 12,000 times.
The top comment alone has 14,900 votes. It said the mom was "not the a******," adding that the thread was "literally full of posts about people taking care of pets they didn't want. Dogs are a long-term commitment. Has your husband taken into account that your kids will be in school, extracurriculars, dating, etc. Depending on how old your kids are they may even move out. Who will be taking care of the dog then?"
Another commenter was less sympathetic, writing: "No dog deserves to live in a house with someone who has such low regard for them. I feel sorry for your children, having to constantly 'prove their worthiness' to the person who is supposed to offer them unconditional love and support. [Not the a******] but definitely cold-hearted."
The mom replied: "I love dogs. I just don't want to take care of one by myself."
Newsweek has contacted her for further comment.
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