Mom Praised for Telling In-Laws Dark Truth About Their 'Golden Boy' Son

An unsettling social media post written by someone claiming to be an overworked mom has sparked a debate around the definition of financial abuse, after the woman involved detailed an "uncomfortable" conversation she had with her in-laws.

Financial abuse occurs when an individual leverages money and resources to control their partner. It's a scenario that can occur in relationships where there is a power imbalance such as one partner earning significantly more than the other.

According to Dr. Brad Klontz, a financial psychologist and associate professor at Creighton University, one telltale sign of financial abuse is when someone places a restriction of some kind on their partner's spending.

While Dr. Klontz acknowledges it's "a great idea" to set an agreed-upon allowance with a partner, the dynamic changes significantly if it's someone deciding simply how much their other half is allowed to spend. "That shows that I have power and you have none and I'm being the authority figure here around money," Klontz told Good Housekeeping. "That's a huge red flag."

An older man and woman.
A file photo of an older man and woman. A woman has been left wondering if she told her in-laws too much about their son. tonefotografia/Getty

It's also an important distinction for the woman posting to Mumsnet as Anonabc, who took to the platform admitting she's "not in a good place at the moment." That assessment comes after she recently met up with her in-laws to discuss her and her husband's plans for buying a house.

According to her post, her husband is "a god who can do no wrong" in the eyes of his parents, so when she began to complain about the fact she was "stressed" with plans for the house as she is "100 percent in charge of looking after the kids," while also working, they were less than sympathetic, telling her she "shouldn't work."

But then, to their apparent surprise, she told them the truth. "I told them I need to earn money," she wrote. The wife went on to explain that while her husband has "an incredibly good job" he is also "very tight with money."

"I actually did leave work at one point but he kept making me feel like crap that I don't contribute to the house (even though I took care of the kids and the house)," she said.

According to the post, they maintain separate bank accounts, so she only really had her own money to spend and he rarely gave her "anything," adding that when he does it's always "a big deal."

Though she regretted revealing this much to her in-laws, she was furious at the notion that they felt she was "too career focused."

"The truth is I'm drowning with the stress of looking after the kids, working, taking care of household stuff, looking for a new house plus being the sole person in charge of the kids' social activities and clubs," she said.

The mom went on to reveal that she feels like her husband has "no interest in the kids" or her while any disagreement they have often ends with him saying things like "it's my f***ing money."

Though she went on to say that her in-laws had offered to give her some money themselves, alarm bells were ringing for many following along on the forum.

'Stressful Situation'

"Sounds like you are in a very stressful situation. Have you considered that this might be financial abuse?" Noluthando asked. Rec0veringacademic, meanwhile, branded the woman's husband an "abusive, nasty man" with Blobblobblob agreeing: "This marriage sounds awful."

Thefriendlymoth wrote: "Personally I think they need to hear that their golden boy isn't perfect...His treatment of you when he had financial control seems very controlling."

HermioneWeasley, meanwhile, urged the woman to take action: "Get proof of his earnings - payslips, bank records, anything you can lay your hands on, then leave him and take half. He's financially abusive and a terrible father and husband."

Mousemat25 was of a similar mind, writing: "I have never said this before on a forum, but leave the b******. He is financially abusing you in the most horrible way. You deserve better."

Newsweek has contacted Anonabc for comment.