Mom Sparks Backlash for Telling Child It's 'Her Own Fault' She Missed Out on Dream College

A Redditor, known on the platform only as u/throw_trash-leftover, has prompted a fierce response among readers: her recent post in the site's "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) forum, detailing a fight between her and her daughter, has received nearly 11,000 votes since it was posted Thursday, along with almost 4,000 comments.

The woman begins by explaining that when her daughter, "Mary," was a senior in high school, she "passed out"—however, since the Redditor wasn't present for the incident, she seemed to doubt her daughter's claim.

"Mary has always been very dramatic and thrived off [of] attention," she wrote. "At one point, we debated getting her checked for some sort of disorder, but ultimately decided not to because she was skilled at manipulating doctors to believe her lies even as a child."

She added: "During all her school years, she was a terror. We were constantly embarrassed in the guidance counselor's office, pleading our case as parents doing our best. She didn't turn in her homework, she had behavioral problems, she was 'sick' more than anyone I've ever known to be."

Returning to the incident during Mary's senior year—which occurred several years ago—the Redditor explained that her daughter "kept saying the same thing, that her head hurt." Eventually, a doctor diagnosed her with a concussion and for a period of time, she only attended half-days at school. "She was cleared to go back in November but only for half days, but we both worked until 4pm or later. While I tried to get her to try going back for full days, she gave up and claimed it hurt too much, so we let her stay home to heal."

"With less than half the time of the other kids, Mary's academic success was bottom of the barrel," wrote the mom. "Plus she had to drop out of her AP courses, being too far behind."

As a result, Mary's "college pickings were slim."

"We doubted she would get many acceptances honestly, but she did manage a scholarship to her 'dream college' that halved the costs," wrote u/throw_trash-leftover, before adding that her daughter had "never mentioned" the school to them before.

"We got as far as orientation before we realized even with the scholarship, and financial aid, we couldn't do the cost. I did my best and brought her to the bank for a loan, but she couldn't get what she needed."

Mary is now 24, but the tensions resulting from that year have yet to subside—and according to the Redditor, the issue erupted in an argument last week.

"She has never forgiven us, constantly claiming that we should have saved more, rather than she should have applied herself, or managed her time better to get a job," wrote u/throw_trash-leftover. "I told her that she brought this on herself, that we warned her this would happen, and that she could have put in more effort."

Specifically, the Redditor said she told her daughter that "every assignment [she] never turned in is a dollar [she] p**sed away."

"She hasn't spoken to us since, and she's ignored every time I or her father tries to reach out," concluded the woman, describing the aftermath of the recent fight.

The post has appeared to resonate with Redditors, as readers flocked to the comments section to express frustration with u/throw_trash-leftover's role in the conflict. Many, for example, argued that "a concussion is pretty hard to fake."

"I don't know how manipulative she thinks her kid is that she can fake a concussion," wrote one commenter. "I do know that I worked [neurotrauma] for 13 out of a 15-year nursing career so I'm pretty f**king impressed with this kid's acting skills if she can fake a concussion well enough to dupe [an] actual doctor."

Others, meanwhile, feel that the story "doesn't add up."

"She's either a bad student that doesn't turn in her assignments or she's a really good student that got a major scholarship to a good school. I'm no admissions expert, but I don't think it can [be] both," wrote one commenter.

Some even went so far as to call out details of the story as hallmarks of "abuse"—a claim which the Redditor vehemently denies. "CPS...investigated the home and found there was no abuse," wrote u/throw_trash-leftover in an update to her post. "Case closed. I'm not an abuser."

She added: "I'm a tired mom who did everything she could."

Newsweek reached out to the user responsible for posting u/throw_trash-leftover for additional information but they declined to comment.

Student on Campus
A mother recently experienced some backlash for telling her daughter that it was "her own fault" for not getting into her "dream college." A student walking at UCLA's campus in Los Angeles. Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images