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By Daniella Gray
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Making packed lunches isn't that much work for one mom in Massachusetts—it's the thought that goes into the task.
In her TikTok video, Paige Connell, 34, says it's the invisible work of remembering everything that needs to go into those packed lunches.
"It's knowing that this child, she likes sun butter but this one cream cheese," she said in the clip.
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The mom of four told Newsweek that women carry this mental load a lot more than men do. Working women also tend to handle the domestic labor and child care, she said.
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"It's not just about the physical tasks like making lunches but the constant planning, organizing and thinking ahead to make sure everything runs smoothly, which often falls on moms/women," she said.
From keeping track of each child's food preferences to remembering which days have pizza at school and how payment is handled, it's a constant mental balancing act.
"The mental load is not the physical task of doing something because making lunch is not that much work," Connell said. "It's remembering and knowing and doing all of the things and keeping that running list in your brain all of the time to make sure that you know what you need in order to make your kids' lunches," she said pointing to each lunchbox.
Connell's clip has been viewed almost 1 million times since it was posted Wednesday, and it has over 1,800 comments and counting.
"And this is just one of the tasks," a commenter agreed.
"It's not just knowing all that info, it's also caring about it," added another.
"When I try and explain any of this to him, he calls me a control freak/manipulator," a third user wrote.
Others caused a stir in the comments section, with one "confused" user saying that this was simply part and parcel of being a parent.
"Not parent...mom. Very few dads actually do this because they rely on their wife," one wrote.
Connell told Newsweek that the reaction online from fellow moms has been overwhelming.
"It has helped them to put words to the experience of the mental load, which can so often be hard to describe to those who do not carry it. There has been some pushback, as there always is online, but the majority of commenters relate to the experience," she said.
If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured in Newsweek.
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