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By Raina Kelley
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Imagine that you and your husband of 12 years are having a lovely dinner to celebrate the sale of his four hardware stores to a conglomerate. You tell him how proud you are of his success. He asks you to sign a postnuptial agreement.
Should you grab your cell and call a divorce attorney? Or is it really just a case of good financial planning? Like prenups, postnuptial agreements deal with the tricky issues of how to divide money and property if a marriage goes sour. (Neither child support nor custody can be negotiated in a postnup--those are a judge's calls.) Once the province of the superrich (Ivana had two) and prime-time soap operas (Gabrielle on "Desperate Housewives" kicked her husband out of bed until he ripped up theirs), postnups are increasingly common, according to family lawyers. Because they're not public documents, there are no national statistics. But Diana Richmond, a divorce lawyer in San Francisco, says inquiries about postnups have increased considerably in recent years. "People are trying to stay out of divorce court," adds New York divorce attorney Raoul Felder. "A postnup is a like a floor beneath you."
They may sound like yet another dirty divorce trick, but the rise in second (and third) marriages and the complicated family structures that go along with them have made marriage an ever trickier financial affair. And while the subject may be tough to broach, experts say postnups are a good idea in some cases. That's true in marriages in which a complicated financial issue--such as a time share a wife owns with an ex or the college funds a husband wants to set up for kids from a previous marriage--stands in the way of wedded bliss.
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Stephen Meadows, recently separated from his wife of 14 years, TV celebrity Leeza Gibbons, is glad he had such an agreement. It made marriage to his spouse, whose income skyrocketed during their relationship, seem more equitable. And, when they did file for divorce five years after signing a postnup, it helped them remain cordial, he believes, because they had sorted out thorny financial issues during a happier time. (Gibbons declined to comment.)
Changes in economic status (for better or worse) are exactly why some people seek these agreements. Arlene Dubin, a lawyer and author of "Prenups for Lovers," had a client whose free-spending husband ended up with a tax lien on the family home. The wife didn't want a divorce; she did want the house in her name. Dubin believes the agreement saved the marriage.
Postnups can also protect family businesses, heirlooms or other premarital property. In another of Dubin's cases, each spouse had children from a previous marriage. They used a postnup to disinherit each other and leave their individual estates to their kids.
If you think you need a postnup or your spouse has asked you to sign one, get professional help. Marital laws differ greatly from state to state. If you work up a homemade document with your spouse and get it notarized as a deed, you're stuck with it. If you don't have an attorney, try the American Bar Association at findlegalhelp .org. Just don't bring up the idea over a lovely dinner.
All Is Fair In Love, But Not In Marriage
Start here if you're thinking of a postnup. And don't panic about the word "divorce":
Divorcemagazine.com allows you to search for expert answers to FAQs by state.
Divorcenet.com offers advice on finding attorneys, mediators or counselors.
Public.findlaw.com/family has links to the marital laws in all 50 states.
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