Parent's Reason for Instantly Kicking Out Her Friend and 4-Year-Old Praised
A mother has asked Mumsnet if she is being unreasonable for asking her friend and their four-year-old daughter to leave her house after they both turned up sick.
In the post, user Terriblefriend07 explains that her child has a "complex health condition which leaves them in hospital when ever they spike a fever or feel unwell. We try to live life normally the best we can. We have always had rules that if you are sick you do not enter our house. My friend is 100 percent aware of the situation."
Despite this situation, her friend came to stay for the weekend "full of virus / hacky cough / snot everywhere and bright cheeks". The child also vomited in the hallway and had a temperature of 39 degrees.
The OP explains she asked them to leave but offered to pay for a local hotel to save them driving three hours home. However, the two friends remain angry at each other and have had a "big fall out."
Some 95 percent of 1,875 users voted that the OP was not being unreasonable with one user commenting, "I would have done the same, except not pay/offer to pay for the hotel."
Newsweek spoke to Jenna Liu, founder and president of Sixx Cool Moms, an online community hub for mothers, about the tricky situation.
"I believe the mother was 100 percent right in telling their friend to leave. She even offered to pay for her friend's hotel stay to make up for the trouble of being asked to leave.
"If the choice is between hurting her friend's feelings, and keeping her child physically safe, the child always comes first. Her friend not understanding why she was asked to leave isn't the behavior of someone who understands that her sick daughter could hospitalize the child of her friend.
"This relationship can be repaired with honest and open communication. The mother should re-state what her child's complex health condition is. State why her child cannot be around other children who are ill, and the consequences of her child getting sick.
"Make sure to include that the decision to ask her to leave was not personal, and that the OP loves her friend and their friendship. If the mother describes what a hospital visit looks like for her child, it may make the friend realize that her daughter getting a cough, is not the same as the OP's child getting a cough.
"The best way is to avoid sounding over dramatic and lead with facts and not feelings. Also, avoid the blame game. Sure, the friend is in the wrong, but the mother making her feel worse about the situation won't get the message across. It will only end the friendship." The OP should outline:
- These are the facts of my child's illness.
- These are the consequences of my child getting sick on top of their illness.
- This is what I would like from you and our friendship moving forward when it comes to my child's illness.
- Reiterate that the friend and their child are loved and wanted in your life."
Newsweek could not verify the details of the case.
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