"Van Helsing" aside, movies today could be worse. Much worse. In October an anonymous Hollywood talent manager decided it was wrong to throw away the hilariously awful script pitches he reads weekly. So he built to showcase the very best of the very worst. PERI's favorites:

ROMANTIC COMEDY "When a deer crashes a wedding, a... New York advertising executive must go into the Connecticut woods and retrieve her wedding ring (which is around its antler). With her womanizing sports-agent fiance in traction and 48 hours until deer-hunting season begins, she turns to a bumbling local policeman for help. Title: 'Deerly Beloved'."

SPIRITUAL DRAMA "A black guard coaches a prison basketball team and finds the strength and motivation he needs in a crippled white inmate who shoots three-point baskets better than anyone he's ever seen."

THRILLER "A black professor and a beautiful Polynesian oceanographer struggle to halt the deadly invasion of 200-foot-long, mutant yellow-bellied sea snakes slithering through Los Angeles's sewers and storm drains."

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TEAR-JERKER "When Death's helper moves in next door, a stressed-out soccer mom finds the sister she's never had."