'Life Is Too Short': Internet Praises Mom Who Wants To Sleep in Spare Room

Sharing a bed is one of those things that couples tend to just do, regardless of whether it's the best way for both parties to get the best night's sleep. But one mumsnet user has decided to take a stand, and outlined her reasons for wanting to sleep in the spare room in an AIBU (Am I Being Unreasonable) post.

The post, titled "AIBU to not want to be woken up and sleep in spare room," has attracted more than 195 comments, and begins with @Franklyfrost explaining that she and her husband recently gained a spare room.

"...and I want to sleep in it," @Franklyfrost wrote. "DH [Dear Husband] gets up naturally about an hour earlier than I need to (he gets up between 5:50 and 6:10) with hours to spare before he has to leave the house. He's a good sleeper."

According to @Franklyfrost, after he wakes, DH typically gets dressed in the bedroom. While it only takes a few minutes, it "involves opening and closing four or five drawers." @Franklyfrost has asked him to stop disturbing her with this activity but DH always ends up going back to his typical routine before long.

Tired mum
A tired mother, trying to pour coffee in the morning after a sleepless night, while her child looks on. A sleep-deprived mother has gained widespread support after outlining her reasons for wanting to sleep in the spare room. tatyana_tomsickova/tatyana_tomsickova/Getty

"On weekends if he's awake he won't stop the kids from waking me up so they'll come and play in the bedroom or bang sauce pan lids outside the door etc," @Franklyfrost wrote. "Again I'll ask him to remind the kids I'm sleeping but he 'forgets.'"

@Franklyfrost explains that she's a light sleep and often finds herself awake for hours during the night. She's "put a lot of effort into sleeping better," but hasn't had much luck. She wrote that her husband knows this, but she still ends up doing "99% of the night wakings for the kids" and stays up with them when they're sick.

"I did all the nights by myself when the kids were babies so he wasn't tired. An extra hour sleep a day is more than a full nights extra a week," @Franklyfrost wrote. "The longer I'm kept awake for, the less likely I am to get back to sleep. I've made compromises for him regarding sleep: we go to bed when he wants, no chatting in bed, duvets not blankets, no cuddling during the night, my own duvet because he won't share, when I'm awake during the night I'm very careful not to wake him etc."

The user goes on to ask other users if she's being unreasonable for asking her husband to make less noise in the morning so she can get a little extra sleep. She also asked if she's being unreasonable for wanting to sleep in the spare room. Other mumsnet users didn't hold back.

"He obviously doesn't get it and doesn't want to get it. Sleep in the other room," wrote @Bumtum126.

@Greenqueen40 chimed in with: "This is painful to read, hes being an utter t***, sleep in the spare room and stay up as long as you like! If he is this controlling about other things I would be leaving him."

Some took a gentler tone, but shared the same sentiment. @7eleven wrote, "Separate room. Have done it for years. We both love it," while @HummingQuietly commented, "Separate bedrooms all the way. Sharing is overrated."

@Franklyfrost is far from the first person to have issues with their partner's sleeping habits, according to a survey conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Natrol. The survey, which quizzed 2,000 adults in relationships on their attitudes toward sleep, found that two in five Americans have ended a relationship over a partner's poor sleeping etiquette.

The survey found 78 percent of respondents said that sleep compatibility is important in a relationship, but it turns out that many of them would rather have their own bed. Of the 65 percent of people who sleep with their partner every night, more than half would prefer to sleep separately.

But when it comes to @Franklyfrost's dilemma, some mumsnet users opined that the sleep issue isn't the main concern. @HummingQuietly wrote, "But you will still have a DH problem if he is letting the kids wake you up."

Likewise, @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz commented: "He is being very demonstrative with how little he thinks of you, in the way he acts around your sleep. Someone who genuinely cares about you wouldn't do this."

In fact, in a later comment @Franklyfrost admitted that she agrees, writing: "That's the bigger issue. He doesn't make me feel cared for. And I'm not sure if I'm being too demanding or if I deserve some care."

And mumsnet users rallied to affirm her feelings. @BoDerek wrote: "He has everything his way and you get the leftovers which sounds like very slim pickings. therapy on your own is probably more helpful in your situation. Life is too short for this carry on."

Similarly, @MiniCooperLover wrote: "I would tell him he's got one more chance to be considerate of your well being and need for sleep and that if that fails, then you will absolutely be moving into the spare room."

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