Internet Slams 'Pushy' In-Laws Demanding To Take 11-Week-Old Baby Overnight

A woman has taken to Mumsnet, asking if she is being unreasonable for not wanting her in-laws to look after her 11-week-old baby overnight, prompting one user to respond:

User PinkCheetah wrote: "Since she was born, actually since I was pregnant, the ILs [in-laws] have been asking on repeat when they can take the baby away overnight to stay at theirs for a few days at a time. DH [darling husband] and I keep declining for many reasons.

mother and baby
Mother hugging sleeping baby lying in bed. Stock image. Mumsnet users support a woman who does not want to leave her new born baby with her in-laws overnight. Getty Images

"For example, she's exclusively breastfed. And mainly I don't like being apart from LO [little one] too long. Even when she goes out for a few hours with DH [darling husband], I feel unsettled. And I don't agree with some of the things they want to do e.g ILs want to cosleep sometimes.

"I do sometimes cosleep but I only trust myself to do this and no one else. ILs have also been dropping hints that I should do things differently. For example, they keep suggesting I should just formula feed, so they can help with feeds.

"But I want to keep breastfeeding for the health benefits and she's growing well. I wanted to postpone a dummy until she was established with breastfeeding, but they kept pushing us to use a dummy. So all these little things add up and make me think even if I let LO stay over they wouldn't respect how I'd want her to be looked after once I'm not there."

According to a survey conducted by Netmums:

  • 60 percent of women have a good relationship with their mother-in-law
  • A third dread it when she visits and feel judged on parenting and housework
  • A third find her to be supportive
  • A third say their mother-in-law thinks she knows best when it comes to parenting
  • 30 percent say they would take their mother-in-law on holiday "over my dead body"

PinkCheetah's post has received almost unanimous support, with users assuring her she is not being unreasonable for not wanting to leave her young baby with the in-laws overnight.

User Hemax1 wrote: "Please stand your ground as to how you both want to bring up your child. It sounds like DH is on the same page as you so it's good you are united regarding this! its lovely that they want to be involved but seem to be confusing involved and being supportive with getting their own way over how your child is brought up. As you say it's not like they are just round the corner to pick up if anything we're to happen or your child doesn't settle. id be tempted to say that the more they ask about a sleepover the longer it's likely to be ... but that's probably just me being petty !"

man stands in between wife and mother
Young man settling conflict between mother and wife. Stock image. A third of women dread it when their mother in-law visits and feel judged on parenting and housework, according to a survey. Getty Images

Some users had a slightly more severe response. WhereYouLeftIt wrote, "When hell freezes over" would be my response. I really don't like being pushed and tend to dig my heels in. But that's just me. Regardless, they are being very unreasonable. As a child I never overnighted in my grandparents' houses, it just wasn't a thing; and I really find the idea of it totally bizarre. And they want to co-sleep with your baby - that's heading into F** Off Territory. Everything they're pushing for is for their benefit, not your and definitely not your baby's. I'd tell them 'no' one more time, and add the rider that if they ask this again, they'll be asked to leave. No ifs no buts, don't ask again when you know my answer is 'no'."

Lacy247 agreed: "Absolutely not! She's a tiny baby! I would feel the same about her being away from me for the night. My son is 4 and hasn't spent a night away from me and I have no plans to allow him until he personally wants to. Tell them to piss off and that the discussion is over. How odd that they want to co sleep with someone else's baby!"

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