Husband Slammed for Leaving Wife Over Infertility Issues: 'Selfish'

A husband has been criticized online after his wife anonymously shared he was leaving her due to her inability to bear children.

The wife took to the popular forum Mumsnet, where women often head to find advice on tricky situations. Explaining that they have been together for 10 years but married for six, the wife detailed the seemingly approaching end of their relationship.

According to the wife, her husband is "leaving" her after finding out she is unable to have children, citing a desire for a biological family as the cause.

"Since being married I have suffered medical issues that mean that it would be dangerous for me and a potential baby to be pregnant," she wrote.

Negative pregnancy test
Stock image of a negative pregnancy test. A woman has gained attention online after sharing her martial issues around infertility. Getty Images

"My husband told me at the weekend that he isn't sure he wants a life without his own children. He wants the experience of a pregnant wife and to support her through this and bring up a child together."

The wife continued that although she is "gutted and in pieces" she feels she "can't really be angry at his honesty." She added in the post that she asked her husband to leave the house in order to think his thoughts through. "I can't look at him without feeling so much pain," the wife wrote.

Her struggles with infertility are far from rare. In the U.S., according to the CDC, around 1 in 5 heterosexual women aged between 15 to 49 years with no prior births are classed as infertile, unable to fall pregnant after one year of trying.

The way in which men and women cope with this struggle is also something that differs, according to research. One study found that men used "proportionally greater amounts of distancing, self controlling and planful problem-solving" when dealing with IVF referrals, compared to women who instead used "confrontative coping, accepting responsibility, seeking social support and escape."

Respondents to the popular post were left raging at the husband, showing far less leniency than the wife herself.

"What a selfish individual he is. I'm sorry he's not the man you thought you married OP, I'm sorry for your medical difficulties. You will come through this, and you will be happy again," said one user.

"So he's willing to give up what he has in favor of a hypothetical (and highly idealized) situation? He sounds very much like a "fair weather husband"—how would he cope if this (hypothetical, ideal, highly fertile) new wife ended up with PND? Or a significant birth injury? Or they had a disabled child? I wouldn't be fighting to keep him tbh," advised another.

One user noted that "there's no guarantee he'll have them with someone else either. I'd certainly not have a child with a man who'd left his wife under these circumstances.

"As hard as it is for him to not have his biological child, it's harder for you since you are unwell in addition to dealing with the knowledge that you won't have children," they added.

Others however reasoned the husband's side of the story too, arguing that: "It can't be easy for you or for him, but at least he's been honest with you."

The user continued that women often received advice online instructing them to move on when in a relationship in which one wants children and the other doesn't.

"You must be hurting terribly. I can see his side too. If this is something he has always wanted then he has to decide. Sadly he has chosen children," added another.