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By Daniella Gray
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A new mom was left stunned after her mother-in-law criticized her for asking her husband to help with a single nighttime feed.
The mom, who goes by u/Lazy_Perfectionist88, shared a post to Reddit’s r/AmIOverreacting subreddit where she explained how she endured a traumatic labor in December that ended in an emergency C-section.
Newsweek reached out to u/Lazy_Perfectionist88 via direct message on Reddit.
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Her doctor advised an eight- to 10-week recovery period, during which she was told to lift only her baby. Despite this, she said she has been handling nearly all newborn care, day and night—even while her husband took two weeks off work.
"One night I asked if he could help with a 4am feed so I could get a little sleep," she wrote, adding that she was afraid of passing out from exhaustion while holding her baby.
According to the post, her husband mentioned the request to his father, who relayed it to her mother-in-law. The MIL then sent a lengthy text message to her son, a screenshot of which was shared in the post.
In the message, the MIL reportedly urged him to "stand his ground," framing the 4 a.m. feed as an unreasonable demand and stressing that his sleep mattered because he needed to drive and "use his brain at work."
The new mom contrasted that concern with her own reality: recovering from major abdominal surgery, barely sleeping and caring for a newborn around the clock.
While her own mom has been helping with meals and cleaning, she noted that her in-laws—who live nearby—have not offered practical support.
Instead, she said her MIL has criticized her, including taking issue with her mother’s presence.
"Honestly the audacity is wild," the poster wrote.
At the time of writing, the post has since garnered around 13,000 upvotes and more than 3,700 comments.
Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with the poster. Many labeled her "NOR" (not overreacting), arguing that one nighttime feed was a minimal request and that her MIL’s response reflected outdated expectations.
Several users suggested the MIL appeared threatened by the poster receiving help, while others speculated she may have internalized a belief that mothers should "do it all" without support. Others focused on the husband’s role, saying he needed to step up more consistently and shut down outside interference.
Another commenter noted that the MIL might quickly feel the consequences of her behavior if she continues to be excluded from time with the baby.
The poster added that her husband has confronted his mother in the past and is aware of her behavior.
While the MIL later claimed her text was not meant to upset her daughter-in-law, the new mom said the apology didn’t feel genuine.
"I don't want her near my child," she concluded.
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