Newsmakers

Roseanne is back with a one-hour comedy special on HBO. She spoke with Nicki Gostin.

I'm trying to get comfortable with aging. It's hard. Reality is really tough.

No. They don't do you any good except make you violent. I've been on everything but now I meditate. Meditation helps calm me down a lot.

Yeah, I had my stomach made the size of a walnut and I still maintain my weight at 180.

Well, it takes a lot of discipline. I used to just gorge. Now I gorge all day on smaller amounts. I'm still fat and I always will be and I don't care.

Oh yeah.

Of course. I'm sure I irritate them, too.

Well, I know it's unbelievable but I irritate people daily. The truth is I like it or I wouldn't do it. It's fun to see what's underneath all the fake niceness, when you scratch and you see the crazy person come out.

Actually I do have one serious, nice boyfriend, and then I have several gay boyfriends. And then I have my dreams.

About having sex with all the hot men.

I'm not going to say.

No, I don't like that off-the-rack kind of thing. I like odd. I have odd choices in my head.

Once again, we fight through the never-ending lava flow of celebrity gossip by relating the hottest news in the fewest possible words. This week, we tackle TomKat, Madge and Naomi.

MRS. CRUISE NO. 3

November 18:

Circle the date, weep softly. You're not invited.

OUT OF AFRICA

Madonna and child do Oprah. Madge: keep the kid, Dump the lame accent.

MILLION-DOLLAR BABY

Stop (allegedly) hitting people, Miss! It's not model behavior.

Did someone hit Nicole Richie in the head? That would explain why she finally woke up and noticed what the rest of us have seen for a long time--she's way too skinny. Richie, 25, has checked herself into an "undisclosed facility" where doctors will assess, according to Richie's spokeswoman, "why she's not putting on any weight." Could it be, perhaps, because Nicole doesn't eat enough ? Actually, Richie insists that's not the case. "This is not treatment for an eating disorder," says the spokeswoman. Right. And Paris Hilton is a great actress.

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