...
By Alice Gibbs
Senior Reporter
0
Share
Newsweek is a Trust Project member
See more of our trusted coverage when you search.Prefer Newsweek on Googleto see more of our trusted coverage when you search.
The internet has backed a couple who have decided to give their daughter more inheritance than their sons, despite one of their son's frustrations.
In a Reddit post on the popular r/AmITheA****** (AITA) forum, the 31-year-old explained that his parents recently sat him and his siblings down to discuss their inheritance.
"My parents informed us that they want to split it five ways, my sister gets 2/5 while the three of us brothers get 1/5 each. Their reasoning is that my sister 'sacrificed' her childhood for our family so [it's] only fair she gets compensated," he said.
Read More
Homeless Mom Moving out of Brother-In-Law’s Home Over His Comments Cheered4 min read
Parents Canceling Teen’s 16th Birthday Over Comment Made a Year Ago Backed4 min read
Bridesmaid Furious for Being Kicked Out of Wedding Over Dress Color Slammed5 min read
He explained that during their childhood, their parents fell on hard times and had to work multiple jobs to keep the family afloat. As a result, their older sister often looked after the younger boys.
...
"All she had to do was feed us and keep an eye on us. We were pretty calm kids so all we did was play games and do our homework. It probably wasn't thrilling, but not exactly a tremendous hardship," the Redditor said.
He complained that their plan to give her 2/5 of the inheritance was "insane," and was mad at both his parents and his sister.
"My parents said they're disappointed in us, and said we need to reflect on ourselves. My sister didn't say shit while my parents spoke," he said, "but texted us afterward that she had zero intention of taking 2/5 but we were all assholes."
Relationship expert Rhian Kivits told Newsweek: "Inheritance is an extremely loaded issue—people often see the outcome of their parents' will as a measure of their love. And so, when there appears to be an unequal split, it can cause a lot of distress and resentment."
"Fallouts and disagreements over wills are extremely common," she added, explaining that while an offer may look unfair on the surface, there are likely reasons for a parent's decision.
"It sounds like the parents may be feeling guilt towards the sister for the circumstances they were in that meant she took on a caring role for her siblings," she said. "But the parents' plan seems to favor the sister, and this may be making the other children in the family feel as if they are less important."
While the parents may be trying to make up for a perceived wrong in the past, Kivits said that by offering her more inheritance they may actually be increasing the burden on her.
"Offering the sister a greater share of the inheritance means they are still continuing to place a burden upon her in adult life," she said. "What may come with this is a lot of resentment and bad feeling between these siblings, and this is likely to create a chasm between the family once the parents are gone."
Tthe post on Reddit gained viral attention. With 13,000 upvotes and over 3,000 comments, people overwhelmingly slammed the man for his inheritance upset.
"YTA [you're the a******]," Redditor SwimmingCritical said. "Even if she just stayed at home while you were there, she didn't have teenage freedom and she made sacrifices and took on responsibilities. It doesn't matter how affluent she is now, your parents are trying to pay her back for what they couldn't pay her then."
Helpful_Hour1984 wrote: "Not many parents are willing to acknowledge that they parentified a child. Your sister sacrificed her teenage years to help your parents take care of you. There may not have been any inheritance at all for you to quibble over, if not for her unpaid labor back then."
"First of all, you are not entitled to any of your parents' money, they could have left it to a cat shelter and that would have been fine," said Sunny_Hill_1. "Second, yes, she did in fact make a huge sacrifice by basically becoming a third parent and babysitting you all the time. All the time you've spent playing? She could have been out with her friends, enjoying her childhood, and instead she was making sure her siblings were fed and out of trouble. You are terribly entitled."
With arguments around inheritance and money, Kivits suggested that communication is the key before it's too late.
"Ignoring the issues and leaving them unspoken can break families apart and create wounds that are never healed," she said. "While the sister could put this right after her parents' death, that is a heavy responsibility and unfair on her. Plus it would never heal the pain that the brother may feel as a result of the imbalance in the parents' wishes."
Kivits suggested that the family should put in place further meetings and discuss the best outcome for everyone.
"By hearing each of the siblings' points of view, the parents may come to a fairer decision where the brother doesn't feel so slighted and unseen and the sister isn't left with the burden of being favored," said Kivits.
Newsweek reached out to the poster u/Bitter_Research2372 via Reddit for comment. We were not able to verify the details of this case.
If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
View 0 Comments
Submit Correction
View Editorial & AI Guidelines