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By Maria Morava
Relationships Reporter
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It's one thing to navigate different traveling styles with a partner—and another to add a child into the mix who throws it all out the window.
One family is facing the chaos of family travel head-on with a unique conflict prevention method: a "team meeting."
In a video posted on TikTok, Katie Beach (@thekatiebeach) shared insight into her and her husband's conversation before going on a trip with their toddler. Through talking, the two affirm their commitment to working as a team. The Internet has cheered the couple for being intentional and preventative about a predictably stressful situation.
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"My husband and I always have a 'team meeting' before traveling with our toddler to remind ourselves it's us against the problem, not us against each other," Beach captioned the video. "And yes...the problem is our child."
The method has gone over well with viewers of the video, with some sharing that they employ a similar technique to mitigate conflict, not even always to do with children.
"We do this before traveling with our two kiddos," user @courtneymarton wrote. "Remind each other we are a team, and kids can pick up on our frustration that makes them worse!"
"We do this before moving furniture! One hundred per cent success rate!" @rntonnp wrote.
"Your toddler is going to grow into a great person and friend due to your combined effort," @poker3682 said. "Sometimes, it's hard work. You're doing amazing."
Navigating Conflict With Intention and Creativity
Beach and her husband are not alone in their efforts toward a "green flag" relationship. Many couples document their unique strategies for conflict resolution on TikTok.
Last month, a video went viral with 3 million likes after explaining how a woman and her partner put on party hats when their arguments get too heated: "It makes it really hard to stay mad," the creator wrote about the technique.
More recently, another TikTok-er shared that she and her husband revert to "corporate email" speak when angry with each other, using formal greetings and phrases like "Good evening" and "please note" to emphasize their points and—hilariously—maintain respect.
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These unconventional techniques, while funny, also indicate a real commitment to a healthy relationship, something researchers have found to be key to forming lasting relationships.
Drs. John and Julie Gottman, founders of The Gottman Institute, have been creating research-based interventions and resources for couples and professionals to engage more meaningfully in relationships since 1996. One of their tools echoes Beach's "team meeting"—a "State of the Union."
Meant to be had weekly, the State of the Union has four parts: giving one another appreciation, talking about what is going right in the relationship, discussing an issue or processing any incidents, and asking what one can do in the coming week to make the other feel loved.
When discussing or processing negative incidents, the Gottmans recommend "attuning" to the other, meaning taking turns between speaking and listening—while employing the six characteristics of attunement: awareness, tolerance, turning toward, understanding, non-defensive listening and empathy.
The Gottmans' focus on attunement emphasizes staying aligned with one's partner and approaching conflict evenly and collectively.
While Beach's "team meeting" may not adopt such a structure, the research—and TikTok relationships canon—shows that anticipating conflict and navigating it with care can make for beautiful, long-lasting relationships.
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