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By Newsweek Editors
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"I'm not afraid. I'll be a human shield." Iraqi militia volunteer Chaloub Ibrahim, on his loyalty to Iraqi President Saddam Hussein's regime
"It was a little like opening the hood of your car to change the spark plugs and doing a full tune up." Florida Sen. Bob Graham, making light of the fact that his recent heart surgery was more extensive that he initially admitted
"Even as we have achieved so much, Ohio and the General Assembly have also made mistakes. We can't let Ohio continue to have this embarrassing distinction." Cincinnati Sen. Mark Mallory, on the Ohio Senate's voting unanimously to ratify the 14th Amendment. Ohio was the only state that did not ratify it 135 years ago.
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"Critics are like eunuchs. They know how to, but they can't. Bravo, GaultMillau--you've won! Your ranking has cost the life of a man!" French chef Paul Bocuse, on chef Bernard Loiseau, who is believed to have killed himself after his restaurant was downgraded in GaultMillau, a top food guide
"There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know." Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, clarifying U.S. policy on the war on terror at a Pentagon briefing
"Damn Americans. Hate those bastards." Carolyn Parrish, the Liberal Party M.P. for Mississauga Centre, Ontario, after addressing possible U.S. military action against Iraq at a caucus meeting. She later apologized.
"Greetings from Cornell, your future alma mater! Congratulations on your acceptance into the class of 2007!" Excerpt from a Cornell University e-mail that was mistakenly sent to hundreds of students it had previously rejected
"If an extinction-type impact is inevitable, then ignorance for the populace is bliss." Doctoral fellow Geoffrey Sommer, recommending to the American Association for the Advancement of Science that the public should not be informed in the event of a killer asteroid
"As of this writing, 15 men in the history of organized baseball have ever thrown a perfect game. Only one of those men did it half-drunk, with bloodshot eyes, monster breath and a raging, skull-rattling hangover. That would be me." New York Yankees pitcher David Wells, confessing in his upcoming autobiography to being "half-drunk" when he pitched a perfect game in 1998
"It was the ultimate reality moment." ABC executive Andrea Wong, on a camera crew's following Roseanne as she shopped at the Barney's New York store in Beverly Hills, Calif., and running into another camera crew shooting Ozzy Osbourne shopping as well. Both taped the encounter.
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