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By Alyce Collins and Mikayla Mugrage
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Four long years, that’s how long my husband and I spent trying to get pregnant.
It was far from easy, but we persisted with fertility treatments because we so desperately wanted a family of our own.
There were times when hope was fleeting, but in 2023 everything changed for the better. Finally, I was pregnant with our miracle baby, and because of the treatments, we found out really early. I was just three weeks pregnant when we learned the amazing news, so there was plenty of time to bask in that joy and excitement.
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Or so we thought anyway.
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Just two weeks later, I noticed this liquid that looked like blood leaking from my breast. It was so strange, and my left breast started to swell up so much that I couldn’t even wear any of my bras. Not to mention, I couldn’t sleep on my front either because my breast hurt so much.
Knowing that these were troubling signs, I went to my doctor for a second opinion.
They drained the liquid and tested it, and thankfully, the result showed that it wasn’t cancerous.
However, we weren’t done yet.
One of the many times they had to drain the liquid, the ultrasound technician told the radiologist to also test my breast tissue. That moment would prove pivotal because although the liquid was not cancerous, my breast tissue was.
So, at just five weeks pregnant I was also diagnosed with stage two triple negative breast cancer.
Just two weeks after finding out I was expecting, the bubble quickly burst. All the excitement was replaced with fear about what the future held for me and my baby.
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‘My Baby Was the Only Thing That Kept Me Going’
Honestly, when I heard the words "you have cancer," I was terrified.
I did not understand how I could have cancer when I was so young, otherwise healthy, and also pregnant. I was 25 and about to become a mom, how could I possibly have breast cancer?
Treatment had to start swiftly, so I had to undergo chemotherapy while simultaneously going through pregnancy. Thankfully, the physical toll on myself and my baby wasn’t too significant. My son kept growing, regardless of the treatment I received.
We actually joked that chemo was like Miracle Grow for the baby because he always weighed ahead. At one point, doctors even thought I could be further along than previously believed because he was so big.
In actual fact, my baby was the only thing that kept me going throughout treatment. He was the reason I kept fighting. He was the strength I needed to push through.
At 32 weeks pregnant, I had to undergo a left mastectomy. I only had a matter of weeks left before delivering my son, but the surgery couldn’t wait. Doctors wanted to deliver my baby soon after the mastectomy because then I could begin the more intense treatments that couldn’t be done while I was pregnant.
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‘I Wasn’t Allowed to See my Baby’
Just two weeks after surgery to remove my left breast, it was then time to deliver my son.
I was induced at 34 weeks, and although it was a fairly easy labor without complications, it was very time-consuming. Evidently, he wasn’t quite ready to come out because it was still a few weeks early.
While most new moms look forward to cradling their newborn baby in their arms, I only got 45 minutes with mine. That’s right, 45 short minutes with my son before he was whisked away to the NICU (because he was born at 34 weeks). Even so, that included sharing him with my family.
I, on the other hand, had to stay in my recovery room. I could hear the other moms with their babies in the surrounding rooms, but my son was on an entirely different floor. I wasn’t even allowed to go and see my baby until the following day.
But the moment they allowed me to get out of bed, I got straight up and went to the NICU. After that, I didn’t leave his side, and my postpartum nurse even had to come find me in the NICU to administer my medication.
My son spent 12 days in the NICU, and when they finally discharged us, I had to watch videos about how "breastfeeding is best" and sign papers stating that I had indeed watched them, even though I was unable to breastfeed. That was one of the hardest things because I really wanted to breastfeed my son, but I would never be able to anymore.
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'Cancer Is Harder Mentally Than It Is Physically'
Just two weeks after giving birth, it was time to restart my treatment protocol. My son had only been discharged from hospital two days prior, and I was already back for chemotherapy. Having a newborn is tiring anyway, but try adding chemotherapy on top of that. I only made it through with the help of my amazing husband and family.
There were countless times when I would call my mom and sisters to come and take care of the baby so I could get more sleep. When I think back to those times, it’s hard for me to remember a lot because I was just mentally and physically exhausted.
I have always said that cancer is harder mentally than it is physically. There are thoughts I fight every day, ones I don’t even like to speak out loud.
After being diagnosed with cancer, you begin to think every little ache or pain is also cancer. You start living in fear of your own body, but one day recently, I decided I’m tired of living in fear. I’m supposed to have a sound, peaceful mind that doesn’t fear.
So, I stopped living like that.
Instead, I tell myself that I will live rather than die.
Your mind really is the biggest thing you have to fight each day.
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‘Be Your Own Advocate and Never Lose Hope’
In 2024, I went through cancer treatment, surgery, birth, and even more chemotherapy. I started treatment back in October 2023, so it’s been a long three years, and I needed a break.
I am currently on holiday from treatment and am just enjoying life and cherishing time with my family. It is against my doctor’s wishes, but I was just about surviving while undergoing chemotherapy. All I wanted was to live, so now that is what I am doing.
I want to thank my wonderful family and friends for all their support through this hard time. I could have never made it through without them praying for me and supporting me. I never had to fight this alone because they are always fighting with me.
If you are ever diagnosed with cancer, stay positive. Live your life to the fullest, be your own advocate and never lose hope.
Mikayla Mugrage, 27, resides in Ohio with her husband and their son. She has been documenting her journey on social media (@mikayla_lee7 on TikTok) as a way to showcase the realities of breast cancer and motherhood.
It is important to emphasize that the decisions described in this story are personal to the author and reflect her own circumstances and experiences. They should not be taken as medical advice or as a recommendation for anyone else to alter, pause, or stop cancer treatment. Every patient’s diagnosis and treatment needs are different, so anyone considering a change to their treatment protocol should discuss it carefully with their own oncology team and follow their doctors’ medical guidance.
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