The Psychic Animals Who May Predict The Next President

A three-year-old Scottish goat named Boots has predicted that Hillary Clinton will win the U.S. presidential election. STV NEWS / YOUTUBE

Doug Main here, with only the most hard-hitting news. As a science writer, I am your guy for in-depth political analysis. At least when it involves animals. LOL.

Ok, so people are saying (some people, I swear!) that animals can predict elections. "Boots," a 3-year-old goat in southern Scotland with alleged powers of prophesy, correctly guessed that Britons would vote yes on Brexit. So he's probably a prophet, right? When queried about the United States election, he chose—without hesitation—Hillary Clinton.

It's a lock, folks.

Other supposed seers of animalkind also picked Hillary. As Marketwatch notes: "A polar bear and a tiger on Monday night delivered a double endorsement of the Democratic hopeful at the Rojev Roetsjej Zoo in north Russia by chowing down on pumpkins bearing her name." (We'll ignore, for the moment, the possibility that eating a giant squash with her alias portends something bad.)

But wait, the plot thickens. "Pointing to a different outcome, Geda, a 5-year-old Chinese monkey that rightly picked Portugal as the 2016 European soccer champion, last week selected Republican nominee Donald Trump as the U.S. election winner," the publication continued.

Apparently, "Sharks for Trump" [not a real thing] are also making their predictions known. Researchers at Nova Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., who are tracking mako sharks, decided to name one after each candidate. Whichever shark logged more miles from late September to early November would win the race, they reasoned (a divination method that dates back to the ancient Egyptians). And guess which shark won? Well, I'll tell you: TRUMP SHARK won.

"I'm not 100 percent convinced the sharks will predict the human race to the White House," researcher Mahmood Shivji demurred, in a statement. (C'mon Mahmood, we thought this was ironclad!) "What it does show, however, is that mako sharks do follow different patterns in the Atlantic Ocean—we've had some log more than 10,000 miles, which is pretty incredible. We've learned so much, and there is so much more for us to discover."

There you have it, folks. I, personally, couldn't be more confused. Could some of these animal augurs, *gasp*, be wrong ?

As they say, it's too close to call.