Raina Kelley's Dinner Plans Do Not Involve Carrie Prejean

Editor's note: You may know Raina Kelly from her very sensible breakdown of the Chris Brown/Rihanna discussion, or the powerful letter to her son written on election night, or any of the myriad other smart and funny pieces she's done online and in the pages of NEWSWEEK. She'll be chiming in on this blog as often as we can get her.

There has to be some kind of explanation for the reams of nonsense news streaming across the web and the airwaves. Maybe it's that we're weary of bad news and need a break from reality. Or maybe it's just too hard to produce features and break news when you can pop a few talking heads on the screen and let them try to out-snark each other.

Watching cable news nowadays is a bit like sitting all day in a Starbucks: both provide the chance to listen in on legions of self-appointed experts talking about nothing. At least at Starbucks, the subject matter changes as the day goes on. On the news, it's the same two or three stupid stories over and over again. As we speak, the story of Miss California is making the rounds. Again. Still. And thus, I will stick to newspapers until this nonsense blows over.

But first, let me just say a couple of things and then I'll move on to more important matters, like what I want for dinner.

1. Can there possibly be a more tawdry way to focus attention on the pros and cons of gay marriage? Perez Hilton should be ashamed for using a pageant contestant as a launching pad to get his views in favor of gay marriage out there. It's kinda like going on a news blitz to attack children for believing Columbus discovered America. It just demeans any cogent and well-thought arguments one might have on the topic. If you're in the business of convincing people you're right, don't go up against a 21-year old blonde beauty queen. Why give Miss California a platform to promote her views? She could speak in tongues (and it sometimes seems as if she is) and still get more airtime than Hilton. Sorry Perez, I think you scored one for the other team.

2. Even if Carrie Prejean had posed completely naked for Maxim while holding a sign that read "I hate Raina Kelley;" I would not care if she kept her crown or not. Beauty queens are like butterfly collectors to me: I respect their right to exist; but I don't want to know anything about them.

3. I want a piece of chicken Parmesan, some baked ziti and a salad for dinner. It's the exact same thing I had for dinner last night; but I'm streaky like that.