Woman Praised for Leaving 'Insulting' Boyfriend on Side of Road

A man abandoned on the road by his girlfriend after "insulting" her when she arrived to help him after his car broke down has received a storm of criticism from users on Reddit, who say she should also end her relationship with him.

According to a post shared by the 26-year-old woman (under the username GermanCat34) on Reddit's Am I The A**hole (AITA) forum, where it had received 19,500 upvotes at the time of writing, her 27-year-old boyfriend Nick "does not believe in maintaining or taking care of his vehicles."

Since purchasing his car around five years ago, her boyfriend put about 70,000 miles on it, but has allegedly "never had an oil change nor does he do any kind of regular maintenance," according to the woman. His refusal to take care of the car is not due to finances, as he "has an incredible job that pays him fairly," she said.

The woman, on the other hand, likes to "restore vehicles for a profit" as a hobby and a side job. She said: "I am by no means a mechanic, I mostly clean up the vehicles, do bodywork and paint restoration. However, I do have a pretty fundamental understanding of cars and I know how to do the basics."

Pink Tools

The user also said she has a set of tools "that have pink handles" and that most of her tools aren't pink "but the ones mentioned are pink."

According to the woman, Nick claimed he had a flat tire when he called for help. But when she arrived, she saw he not only had a flat tire "but his front left rotor was cracked (rotor is part of the car's breaks) and his rim was bent to hell." She told him his car was "undrivable and that he needed to call a tow" but he claimed it only needed a tire change.

When she refused to change the tire, Nick allegedly said she was "mothering him on how poorly he takes care of his car."

He later "lashed out," saying "Just because you have a set of pink tools and watch YouTube doesn't make you a f**king mechanic," after which the woman left him on the side of the road. He has refused to talk to her until she apologizes for "abandoning him," the woman said.

According to a 2018 study published by the American Psychological Association in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, heterosexual men with sexist attitudes may underestimate the power they have in their romantic relationships, "which could lead to increased aggression toward their female partners or wives."

Emily J. Cross, MS, of the University of Auckland and lead author of the study, said: "Power dynamics are not as simple in intimate relationships because even in well-functioning relationships, both partners are inescapably dependent on each other.

"This mutual dependence constrains an individual's power. This can be very difficult for men who have sexist views because they are already concerned about losing power to women and they may lash out at their significant other in harmful ways," she explained.

Advice to 'Dump' Her Boyfriend

Several Redditors have defended the woman, saying she is "NTA [not the a**hole]" and that she should "dump" her "insulting" boyfriend.

User beguilery said: "NTA. He has a lot of nerve, picking a fight with someone he called for help," in a comment that got 20,100 upvotes at the time of publishing.

User erratic_stability said: "The lack of respect is mind blowing," in a comment that got 6,000 upvotes.

TheFreakingPrincess wrote: "Yeah NTA, she has enough expertise for him to ask for a favor but the moment he hears something he doesn't like, she's suddenly not smart enough to help. Dump him," in a comment that got 1,100 upvotes.

User dalniente36: "NTA...he called you because you're better at car mechanic stuff than he is and he knows it, but as soon as you don't do what he wants, he starts insulting you by saying you don't know anything about the thing he called you for BECAUSE you know more about it than he does? That's rich."

Tim-oBedlam: "NTA. He's put 70,000 miles on his car and has never changed the oil? WTF? I'm amazed the car still runs....and that's unforgivable of him to insult you like that with the 'pink tools' comment. I think it's time to leave the boyfriend, and not just his car, by the side of the road," in a comment that got 11,300 upvotes

Several other users also slammed the boyfriend for his "pink tools" comment, with some explaining that many mechanics put pink labeling on their tools in a bid to keep them from getting lost or stolen.

Due_Practice8634 noted: "The sexism is unreal with this one as he seems to think both your gender and the color of your tools means you're not qualified to speak to basic car maintenance when he can't change his own tire..." in a comment that received 1,100 upvotes.

Penny_girl said: "The 'pink tools' line is sexism at its finest. He's telling her she can't possibly know what she's talking about because she's (gasp! The horror!) a woman. OP [original poster] should leave him at the side of the road permanently," in a comment that received 5,600 upvotes.

L33TROYJENK1NS wrote: "Best part about the pink tools is I know tons of construction guys that paint their tools hot pink so they know which tools are theirs. I've seen more dudes with pink tools than women at this point," in a comment that got 2,000 upvotes

User jjintana stated: "So he feels emasculated by her competence and this is how emasculated people act out. The concept of emasculation is misogynistic."

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Couple arguing near broken down car.
A file photo of a couple arguing near a car that's broken down with its hood open. A woman has been praised on Reddit for leaving her "insulting" boyfriend on the side of the road. iStock/Getty Images Plus