'Blindsided': Woman Refusing to Lend Wedding Dress to Sister-in-Law Backed Online

An anonymous bride attracted widespread attention online after refusing to let her sister-in-law borrow her handmade wedding dress.

The wife posted to popular Subreddit "Am I the A**hole" where users rush to ask for advice on a tricky personal dilemma. Her post gained over 13,000 votes in just one day.

Sharing on Reddit, the 28-year-old woman explained that she married her husband six years ago and decided to make her wedding gown with her mother after struggling to afford a new one.

They spent "over a year" designing and making the entire thing from scratch. "Making it also brought me much closer to my mother, as the whole project was sort of a bonding experience. It also holds a lot of additional sentimental value as my dad passed away while we were making it, so I sewed a heart shaped cut-out of one of his shirts into the lining of the dress in order to keep him with me on my big day," she explained.

"This dress not only brought me closer to my husband, but my family too. It means so much to me."

Her husband's sister has got engaged recently, and just like her is unable to afford a dress she likes. "Between her loans and a relatively low [teacher's] salary, she doesn't have very much money to pay for her wedding," wrote the wife.

"This all leads up to Tuesday morning, when she called up my husband and asked if I would be willing to let her borrow my dress. She mentioned that it could be her 'something borrowed.' My husband says that he would have to ask me first, because it wasn't his to loan out.

"He finished his work day and picked me up from my job and we came home to his little sister trying on my wedding dress and his mom clipping it in the back to fit her better. Seeing somebody else in my dress totally blindsided me," she added.

Argument Over the Dress

According to her post, the wife told them that she would not loan out the dress, due to its sentimental value, which resulted in an argument and both her sister and mother-in-law leaving the house.

After calming down, the anonymous woman turned to Reddit to question if she had overreacted and "shut them down too quickly."

Neither the sister-in-law or poster are part of a rare group of brides when it comes to wedding dresses—a 2018 study found that 74 percent of couples plan to take on debt to cover wedding costs.

The average cost of a wedding dress in 2019 was $1,600 according to The Knot, making it a viable route to cut down costs.

For the majority of respondents however, the financial burden was simply not reason enough to expect to get the meaningful dress from a sister-in-law.

Redditers dubbed the poster "not the a**hole" with users sharing outrage at the situation.

"There are bridal consignment stores, really inexpensive dresses online, etc. Your dress is not her only option," wrote one user.

"If it had been store bought I can see loaning it out, but the fact it was handmade by you and your mom with some pretty sentimental aspects, I can see why you would not want it touched and altered. Them coming over while you were out without permission was nervy - get your keys back," recommended another.

For the wife however, the real issue lay in how quickly the duo started attempting alterations, despite not gaining permission. "I feel like I would have even been upset if it were store bought simply because they didn't ask me. Or even bring it up to me," she confirmed.

Similar sentiments were expressed by fellow Reddit users, who noted the speedy turnaround. "They couldn't wait a single day for an answer?" asked one user. "Then they really don't care about your answer—it's why she asked your husband instead of you."

"They should have asked you, not your husband. Even though he forgot to mention it to you, they still had no right to even touch your dress, until they got an answer from YOU. They owe you an apology - and it doesn't matter if the dress is in a box, or hanging from the ceiling; it doesn't mean that someone can decide that they can use it," added another.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Bride trying on dress
A file photo of a bride trying on a wedding dress. Getty Images