Redditors are weighing in after one user asked for the community's best responses to a common question: "Why are you so quiet?" The post, found here, has gone viral, generating over 15,000 upvotes and 6,000 replies at the time of writing.
Being labeled as "quiet" can be a complicated experience, especially in academic and professional settings. In a world that often values extroverted and outgoing personality types, those on the more introverted side may struggle. This is especially true for women—and specifically women of color—who are forced to survive in predominantly white, male spaces.
Explained writer Rene Germain in Cosmopolitan U.K. this past October: "There's a huge amount of pressure for Black women, especially in white-dominated workplaces, to be extroverted."
"When Black women are introverted in the workplace, it's [weaponized] against us," said Germain. "We're perceived as anti-social and not a team player, our performance is overlooked and this can have an adverse impact on our career."
When confronted with the question of one's "quietness"—whether it be in a professional, social, or other settings—there is a range of ways one might respond. Some Redditors, for example, felt that a clever retort is an ideal way to handle the potentially-uncomfortable query.
"I was raised by abusive librarians," quipped u/ILUVMOVIESSS in a highly-voted comment.
"I only speak to people that have something valuable to say," offered u/Evil_Creamsicle.
Echoed u/5654326c in a subtly-snarky response: "Once I said that it's because I have nothing to say, and that keeping quiet is better than risking offending or annoying someone."
Many more suggested answering with another question: "Why are you so loud?"
Meanwhile, some argued that the best way to answer the question is with nothing at all.
"No response is the best response," wrote u/gnomzy123. Added u/Dinoclaire101: "Especially when paired with staring at them with a completely emotionless face."
On the flip side, some commenters preferred earnest explanations that reflect how the introvert might actually be feeling.
If they "want to be nice," u/darkiya said that they tell people: "I'm currently processing my day, I need time to sort things out. Nothing is wrong but I need some me-time right now."
Other commenters suggested replying with something along the lines of: "I prefer to listen."
However, for some, the answers offered in the thread all proved unsatisfactory: "Sadly there isn't much you can say," noted u/Shot_Market_5204. "It's not my fault I can't for the life of me figure out what to say to you. It shouldn't be considered a flaw."
