Shock as Mom Claims Ex-Husband 'Doesn't Like' Daughter As She Resembles Her

The internet has slammed a man who "resents" his daughter as she looks and behaves like her mom, who he separated from recently.

In a post shared on Reddit on Monday, his ex-wife, under the username u/ThrowRaooo0oO0, explained that when she was in her twenties some "bad stuff" happened to her, and her ex-husband has always blamed it on her for being "too trusting and naive."

Now he thinks that their oldest daughter, who is only 4 years old and looks a lot like her mom, has inherited these behaviors, and he's worried the same things will happen to her.

She said: "He hates that she is trusting. Her kindergarten teacher says that she is very kind and fairly liked by her peers but that she is very laid back and doesn't take much space," adding that his worries are turning into resentment and the girl has started to pick up on his behavior.

According to Memphis divorce lawyers Miles Mason family law group, the divorce rate is currently at 44.2 percent, based on a marriage rate of 6.1 people per 1,000 total population and a divorce rate of 2.7 people per 1,000 total population. It means that, for every 6.1 people who get married, 2.7 will be divorced.

The poster said that her daughter's psychologist told her she has healthy boundaries and is a happy child, but even after talking to her psychologist, he is still obsessing about her being too "naive and innocent," and she thinks that may be due to resentment because of the separation.

What is worse is that the girl is becoming increasingly reluctant to speak to her father, who until recently used to be her favorite person in the world. She told him it was because he didn't love her as she looks like her mommy.

In addition, she told her mom she doesn't wish to see him "ever again," and to fix this issue, he wants to try and force her to spend more time with him.

Chloe Carmichael, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and the author of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety, told Newsweek that whenever a divorce occurs, parents generally need to ensure they redouble their efforts to present a united front for their children.

She said: "This helps create a firm foundation for the children to feel secure and loved, and the mother's statement that she privately agrees with her four-year-old daughter's sense that her father doesn't love her would certainly undermine the possibility of a united front.

According to Carmichael, it sounds as if the dad does love his daughter very much, and that he may view the daughter's malleability as an area for growth, but that doesn't imply that he dislikes or doesn't love her, on the contrary, it suggests that he loves her enough to want her to have strong, healthy boundaries.

She suggests that when the girl expresses a belief that her father doesn't love her, her mom should unburden the girl of what sounds like a truly inaccurate belief. saying something like: "Honey, I'm so sorry to hear you say that. Your father does love you very much. He sometimes expresses concerns about making sure you stand up for yourself, and maybe sometimes he might even worry too much about that, but he actually has those concerns because he thinks about you a lot and loves you very much, and wants what's best for you."

Adding: "The message that her father loves her should be repeated often by both parents since it sounds like it is absolutely true and the girl is craving reassurance about it."

One user, CrazyCatLadyForEva, commented: "Hm, I'd tell him that he was worried she wouldn't stand up for herself and now she is. He pushed and nagged her far enough that she has to stand up to him. Now your husband is just reaping what he sowed. He does need to prove himself to her, but that should maybe happen with you or another relative present. Just so if anything does come up, she doesn't have to fight against him alone. And if he shows improved behavior over the next few months he can slowly have her increasingly longer alone. Has he taken responsibility for what he's doing and does he understand why his daughter is distancing herself?"

And Willdiealonewithcats, said: "Adding to this, if in response to bee boundaries he is forcing and guilting her to spend time with him, he is now teaching her that her boundaries are malleable and a persistent man can guilt her into doing something she is not comfortable with because it would make him feel better."

RighteousTablespoon wrote: "She's 'naive'... f-ing duh! She's 4! Of course, she is 'naive,' although the more appropriate word is INNOCENT. [To Be Honest] it sounds like your husband is the one who needs a psychologist. He's not taking the separation well, or something."

Another user, msbottlehead said: "Seems to me your daughter may have overheard a negative conversation your ex had about her. If this is the case she may never get over it even if she forgets it in time. Little pitchers do have big ears."

And Sorry_I_am_late added: "Either that or she overheard OP, which is more likely given that she spends most of her time with mom. Maybe she even heard them speaking to each other?

Regardless, I can believe that a 4-year-old will notice a change in her dad's behavior but not that she can figure out the reason for it by herself. She definitely overheard something."

SusanBHa wrote: "My father had issues with me because I was the spitting image of my mother. He far preferred my sister, who resembled his mother. And I always knew it too."

Newsweek reached out to u/ThrowRaooo0oO0 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

man slammed for resting daughter
Stock image. Mom comforting crying daughter. A man has been dragged for resenting his 4-year-old daughter because she looks like her mom. Getty Images