'Should Be Grateful': Newlywed Backed for Charging Woman for Uninvited Kids

Members of a popular internet forum defended one newlywed after they explained why they charged a mother for bringing her two children to their wedding.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Conscious-Bit-453 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said they were fined for violating their wedding venue's capacity limits and detailed the mother's harsh response to their request for extra money.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for charging my wedding guest for bringing [an] uninvited plus 2?" the viral post has received nearly 8,200 votes and 700 comments in the last day.

Writing that they were married at a small venue with strict capacity limits, the original poster said one of their wedding guests was unexpectedly accompanied by her two kids, neither of whom were invited.

"One of my guests showed up with her [two] children, who were not invited, not in the RSVP and obviously not in the seating chart," OP wrote. "She came in, decided to seat them at her table, taking away the spots of my other guests who were actually invited."

"A small commotion broke out when she refused to give those seats back, and the venue manager noticed and said that we'd be charged a fine for exceeding capacity, as stated in the contract," they added.

After the wedding, the original poster said they redirected the fine to the mother of two and requested that she pay for the extra cost incurred by bringing her children.

"She claimed that it is not her fault, and that I should have factored in unforeseen changes when budgeting for my wedding," OP wrote. "And she couldn't find a babysitter, so she had no choice, and that I should be grateful she took the effort to attend my wedding anyway."

Uninvited children at wedding
Redditors were quick to call out one mother who brought her two kids two a wedding despite not being invited. DGLimages/iStock / Getty Images Plus

Weddings, primarily intended to celebrate unity and the combination of communities, often follow tight schedules and feature strict invite lists.

And while most engaged couples and wedding planners formulate meticulous plans and solutions for any potential problems, unexpected circumstances are, for lack of a better term, to be expected.

In the case of uninvited wedding guests, WeddingWire recommends that couples first let invited guests know that no tagalongs will be permitted, no matter their age. But for guests who remain ignorant to issued regulations, it is recommended that a third party address the situation in a calm, accommodating manner.

"Politely but firmly, let [guests] know that due to your venue's capacity and budget constraints, you're only able to accommodate those on the official guest list—no exceptions," WeddingWire maintains.

If certain attendees are not included on the guest list, "feel free to let your venue coordinator or planner know so that the person can be removed quietly."

Although the original poster's venue manager was able to mitigate the "small commotion" caused by their guest and uninvited children, OP was ultimately fined for exceeding capacity limits and harassed after passing the bill onto the responsible party.

However, throughout the viral post's comment section, Redditors responding to the original poster were adamant that they were absolutely justified in expecting the mother of two to cover the extra wedding fee.

"[Not the a**hole] but your ex-friend is," Redditor u/Ducky818 wrote in the post's top comment, which has received nearly 14,000 votes.

"She definitely had a choice—she could have stayed home with her [two] kids," they added. "There shouldn't be unforeseen charges at a wedding, especially not ones involving people that were NOT invited."

"I love people who absolutely refuse to take any responsibility for their own actions," Redditor u/FoolMe1nceShameOnU added. "Of course it was her fault. She literally did it. And now she can deal with the consequences of actions which are hers and hers alone."

In a separate comment, Redditor u/peithecelt said they would normally believe that wedding guests should never be charged extra but that the guest described by the original poster is an exception.

"This is one of those kinds of questions that I NEVER thought I'd vote [not the a**hole] on...but you are 100 [percent] in the clear on passing on that cost," they wrote. "If you have to make a change like that for a wedding, you CALL the bride (or a bridesmaid) and ASK."

"You don't suddenly ADD [two] people to the cost without asking like that," they continued.

Newsweek reached out to u/Conscious-Bit-453 for comment.