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By Marc Peyser
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Joseph Negroni has a song he'd like to play. OK, it's really just the theme to "Jeopardy," but you've never heard it like this. Negroni is a human bongo. He cups his hands over his mouth and makes sounds that pop like a bag of Orville Redenbacher's, only in tune. On a rainy morning in New York, Negroni has brought his unusual skill to a hotel ballroom to audition for Fox's "30 Seconds to Fame," which is something like "The Gong Show" on speed. "We want people who are funny and unique, but you might not consider them real talents," says executive producer Michael Binkow. "If you can play 'La Bamba' with your nose--great!" Negroni, a bespectacled sixth-grade math and science teacher, isn't unique enough--yet. When his "Jeopardy" doesn't quite fly, he tries putting a hand over his eye socket and popping it. The sound is--how shall we say this?--flatulent. Great! "Can you play 'Jeopardy' while you eye-fart?" Binkow asks hopefully. "I wish I could," Negroni says. Binkow smiles warmly. "I bet you're a great sixth-grade teacher," he says. Exit Negroni. Enter a guy with a hula hoop.
Welcome to the endless summer of reality TV, where even a lowly talent show can become a national obsession. Reality hasn't hit television this hard since the first run of "Survivor," and--brace yourself--it's far from over. Fox has ordered another installment of "American Idol," even though the program's own Dr. Evil, Simon Cowell, hasn't renewed yet. NBC has three hit shows: "Dog Eat Dog," "Meet My Folks" and the gross-out king, "Fear Factor." And CBS's "Big Brother 3," alas, is bigger than ever. All of which raises one question: where do they find all those contestants? Sure, some knuckleheads will do, eat, say or wear anything to be on TV. But two years after reality shows became network fixtures, turning up "real" people has become tougher than understanding the rules to "The Mole." You think it's easy to find 25 intelligent, attractive, seemingly normal women to date the same creepy guy, as they do in "The Bachelor"? Or to get regular people who are willing to eat boiled sheep eyes on "Fear Factor"? So where do they find these folks? Read on--only please don't use these tips to audition. We'd never forgive ourselves.
Though many reality shows hold open calls, casting directors increasingly scout for people who wouldn't ordinarily romp around on national television. Amanda Marsh, the apple-cheeked Kansan who won "The Bachelor," was eating in a restaurant when the producers discovered her. "We walked up and said, 'Are you single? Are you interested in finding the right guy on a television show?' " says Mike Fleiss, who created "The Bachelor." "I want someone who thinks this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened in their life." Some casting agents do more than pound the pavement. The producers of "30 Seconds to Fame" asked New York City's Transit Authority for people who perform in the subways--the first week's winner actually was a subway singer. The creators of "Dog Eat Dog" sometimes search the Internet for participants. That's where they found a hilarious Marilyn Manson look-alike named Widow, who ended up in the show's pilot. "We're looking for big personalities," says Matt Kunitz, who created "Dog" and "Fear Factor." "The critics hated our show, but they loved Widow. He's water-cooler conversation."
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Which is not to say that open calls don't yield their share of interesting applicants. Kunitz says two octogenarians recently showed up for "Fear Factor." "Clearly, we would have had safety issues," he says. But casting calls also attract what producers consider the wrong element--actors. "They're not looking for love, they're looking for stardom," says Fleiss. In fact, just about anyone from Los Angeles need not apply. "With someone from L.A., their cousin's a producer, the brother's a producer. They're a little jaded," says Fleiss.
One reason it's harder to find the real reality deal is that a mini-industry has sprouted around these shows. "A lot of people think we're looking for a 'part' more than we are," says Lynne Spillman, the casting director for "Survivor" and "Amazing Race." "You get lots of girls coming in pretending they're a bitch, like Jerri Manthey. You look at their college major and it's nursing." Many reality programs require a videotape as part of the audition process, and several companies now produce tapes to help a candidate make the first cut. "What we're getting now is more savvy," says Mike Darnell, Fox's reality-TV chief. "People know who's getting famous. They know what makes you stand out." There are also folks you might call reality recidivists--people who audition over and over. Spillman says there are people who have tried out for every cast of "Survivor." Even some successful contestants can't stop themselves from repeated auditions, though federal law limits game-show appearance to one per year. "There was a skateboarder named Felix who lost on 'Dog Eat Dog,' and at an open call two weeks later--there's Felix," says Kunitz. "I said, 'Felix, what are you doing here? You can't audition again.' And he said, 'But I didn't win any money!' "
And then there's the old-fashioned way to impress casting directors--get naked. "I was in L.A. with a guy who was wearing a cowboy hat, and by the middle of the interview, he was wearing just the cowboy hat," says Kunitz. So nudity is now so cliche, it's a bad idea, right? Wrong. "If they're ballsy enough to come into an open call and be the life of the party, that's the kind of person we want," Kunitz says. In other words, the naked cowboy made it on the show.
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