'Sonic the Hedgehog' Movie Trailer is No Gangster's Paradise

The trailer for the new Sonic the Hedgehog movie has been released and we all have feelings. I've always been a huge fan of the blue speed freak, with Sonic & Knuckles being one of my first 2-D Platformers. It's become a bit harder to be a Sonic fan boy with truly terrible games coming out one after the other involving werewolves, human/ furry kissing and weird subplots involving Camelot knights.

sonic the hedgehog trailer is bad
Open and say ahhh Paramount Studios

The last two years have been even more complicated for Sonic fandom. Sonic Mania was a blast to the past of my childhood and was a game I couldn't put down. The Sonic Mania Plus version added two new playable characters, Ray and Mighty, who were even more fun to maneuver. In contrast to that, we got Sonic Forces , a game so mediocre fans still recoil in horror when it's brought up in casual conversation.

In an attempt to revitalize the brand, Sega has partnered with Paramount Studios, best known for the Fast and Furious franchise, to create a movie for the blue blur. Early teasers had me horrified and intrigued, like an ASMR YouTube video of eggs breaking on a microphone. Now with the actual trailer out, I'm even more worried.

How is Sonic a Gangster?

The brief trailer shows the CGI hedgehog only looking mildly adjacent to the uncanny valley. His blue fur is electric and sparking with energy, something I don't think that's been established in Sonic canon. His human teeth look very uncomfortable and would not work well with a hedgehog's diet of seeds and nuts. The design could be worse, but the bar was so low they managed to barely hop over it.

i’d like to formally apologize to detective pikachu for any skepticism i had towards it because every single thing about this sonic movie makes DP in comparison look like a fucking masterpiece of cinema

— SungWon Cho (@ProZD) April 30, 2019

Good morning to absolutely everyone and everything other than live action Sonic the Hedgehog’s creepy human teeth xx pic.twitter.com/yJX6WPW7Li

— Alanah Pearce (@Charalanahzard) April 30, 2019

Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik (who I will always call Eggman) will either be the saving grace or demise of the movie. His charm and charisma made Ace Ventura lovable but it also made his Riddler in Batman Forever uncomfortably unlikable. Capturing the ego of a man who thinks it's a good idea to turn small woodland animals into robots isn't an easy task, but Carrey is an actor I trust with the role. I can't wait to see what nonsense he spews in the press interviews.

How do you feel about the Sonic the Hedgehog trailer?