Step-Mom Confessing That She Doesn't Treat Husband's Kids Equally Applauded

A step-mom's decision to favor one of her step-children has been backed online, after she confessed to purposely spend more time with one child.

The step-mom, posting as aitaoldestsd, took to popular Subreddit "Am I the A**hole" to share her experience, gaining over 12,000 votes on the situation.

According to studies, 74 percent of mothers and 70 percent of fathers show favoritism towards one of their children. However, unlike this step-mom, only 10 percent of parents admitted to having a favorite child. The step-mom's case, however, is far more complicated than a case of simply favoritism.

She explained that she married a father of-five last year, with all the kids under 11. Ava is 11 but as the oldest, became the target of hatred for her birth mother, who saw her as the reason she was forced to stay in an unhappy relationship.

Following the divorce, the mom kept a relationship with all children except Ava, who she "said she didn't want anything to do with."

Upset child
Stock image of an upset child. Getty Images

To boost her morale, the step-mother began taking Ava out while the siblings were with their mom. Now, the pair have "small" trips together like dinner while the siblings are at home, but bigger ones like hiking or to the beach when they are away.

"I don't spend nearly as much one on one time with the other four kids," admitted the stepmom, reasoning that "these kids already have a mom that loves them and they don't need it as much. It is so much easier to do anything with one kid than five. When I spend time with Ava, I stick her in my Honda and we go.

"When I have all five kids, we take a big passenger van and they fight over everything. It takes twice as long to go somewhere because I keep having to pull over ands break up a fight. I do take all five kids out 1-2 times a week when they're with us but it's not usually a big trip like what I go with Ava," she added.

The husband, she wrote, has recently asked her to include the other children on day trips "because they're starting to get jealous" and she "should try to treat the kids equally and either not take Ava or take everybody."

Reddit users felt differently, and were left supporting the anonymous step-mom and her decisions.

"That poor little girl. You may not have come up with a perfect solution for helping this child, and it may be unfair to her siblings, but you are putting a hurting child first. She's lucky to have you," wrote one user.

"I can see the other kids viewing it as unfair, however Ava needs a mother and they just need a stepmother. They weren't abandoned. Their dad should realize this. In the long run, the others might be grumpy but you are going to save Ava a lot of trauma by being there for her," agreed another.

Another added: "He says you should treat the children equally but they are not equal. Ava has been rejected by her own mother. She needs to feel loved. Worthwhile. Like someone's daughter. You give her what is not there for her, just as the other children have a mother to fill that role. The other kids do not need the same and so you are treating them according to their needs.

"In an age-appropriate way—perhaps through therapy—they need to learn some empathy for their sister. They are not the ones being left behind—the ONE being left. And your partner calling you a bad stepmom when you are the opposite is well out of line."

Newsweek reached out to u/aitaoldestsd for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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