Colbert Says 'Brett Kavanaugh' Sounds 'More Like a Waiter At Ruby Tuesday' Than A Supreme Court Justice

President Donald Trump chose Federal Appeals Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh to succeed former Justice Anthony Kennedy on the Supreme Court on Monday, and Stephen Colbert is still recovering from the nomination.

Despite admitting he didn’t “know much” about Kavanaugh during Tuesday night’s Late Show, Colbert gave a laundry list of reasons why Trump’s justice pick could present a problem for the country, starting with the fact that Kavanaugh’s first name is Brett. “That sounds less like a Supreme Court Justice and more like a waiter at Ruby Tuesday,” Colbert cracked.

“His full name is Brett Michael Kavanaugh, so it is possible Trump thought he was nominating Poison lead singer and winner of Celebrity Apprentice Brett Michaels. At least we’ll know his stance on the landmark case of nothing via good time,” he said.

At 53, Kavanaugh is younger than most of the sitting justices. “I don’t want some kid making constitutional decisions. I’m 54 and I still can’t decide whether I’m team Edward or team Jacob,” Colbert said.

Kavanaugh could possibly overturn Roe v. Wade, the 1973 Supreme Court decision that made it legal for a woman to have an abortion. “That case is actually one of the big questions here because some fear Kavanaugh would overturn Roe while others hope Kavanaugh would overturn Roe,” Colbert said. “Either way, Kavanaugh took great pains last night to reassure us that he knows so women.”

Kavanaugh said he was an advocate for women’s rights during his nomination acceptance speech on Monday. He noted his mother was a prosecutor at a time when few women held the position and said many of his law clerks were women.

Kavanaugh potentially overturning Roe v. Wade may be one of the most controversial topics in America at the moment, but Colbert suggested Trump may have chosen the Washington native that might benefit the president specifically. “Back in 2009, Kavanaugh wrote that Congress should pass a law exempting a president while in office from criminal prosecution and investigation including from questioning by criminal prosecutors or defense counsel,” Colbert explained.

He added: “So Trump picked the guy who thinks presidents shouldn’t be prosecuted. That’s like Steph Curry picking the ref and the ref previously ruled Warriors number one.”

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