Today in Tabs: The Dismal Science of Tabs
The new FiveThirtyEight launch has been pored over and digested, and the reviews are: "Ehhhhh"

Dave Winer, gray-bearded human tab of the old school, who helped create RSS in the year 1240 and has been busy blogging about it since, published an anecdote yesterday about this one time when he hired an older programmer and it didn't work out. It was apropos of nothing at all I'm sure, but it did happen to include the sentence "every time a company hires someone who is not a young male, they run the risk that the new hire isn't there to work, rather is there to scam you." You may remember Dave from his August 2013 hit single, "The term mansplaining is sexist." Ben Werdmüller took issue with Winer's post. It's been a fertile few days for white male subtweeting though.

Kate Losse wrote a long and very thorough analysis of the many creepy ways Silicon Valley fetishizes and sexualizes its young male hacker heroes if you're looking for a palate cleanser after that Winer tab. Would you like this basic premise translated into different professional fields? Ok, here is Katie JM Baker on the PUA community's view of Ukrainian politics. Or alternately, gather ye round while Erin La Rosa collects eight tales of everyday sexism in journalism. Ha ha we could literally just do this forever, should we? Should we just re-enact these same stupid dynamics over and over, generation after generation, until the inevitable heat death of the universe, tweeting about them all the while? Doesn't it sound like kind of a dumb way to spend our incredibly fleeting existences when you really think about it?

Whoa that got kind of real, sorry.

Here have an IRL tab

Updates and So Forth: Emily Bell wrote very thoughtfully in CJR addressing some critiques of her Guardian article from last week. Dorian Nakamoto issued a statement to Felix Salmon denying any involvement in Bitcoin, again. Thought Catalog is still unbelievably bad at everything.

More Like Five Thirty Nate Amirite? The new FiveThirtyEight launch has been pored over and digested, and the reviews are: "Ehhhhh." Joe Coscarelli has an overview. Krugman isn't impressed, nor is Tyler Cowen. They're probably "pundits" though, and can be dismissed. The tabbiest launch tab was this analysis of Shakespeare via line-counting, which compared unfavorably to this brilliant visualization of the relationships in Anna Karenina as a force-directed graph. I know I feel literarily enlightened now.

But first.....we're having an earthquake! DYING 😂😂😂

— cas (@CassidyShaffer) March 17, 2014

SCIENCE! Stanford Assistant Professor Chao-Lin Kuo found evidence of gravitational waves in the early universe that strongly support the inflation theory of other Stanford professor Andrei Linde, so, because physicists are the most adorable human beings in the world, he went to Linde's house to surprise him with the news like some kind of Ed McMahon who spouts incomprehensible math gibberish at you instead of bringing you money. If someone saying "it's five sigma, r of point two" can make you cry, I love you, thanks for being awesome. Megan Garber has more on the backstory of the video.

Not So Much "SCIENCE!" as "...Science?" Facebook's facial recognition capabilities are reportedly nearing human-level performance. Since I can only recognize people if they don't change their hair or clothing, that means Facebook is much better at facial recognition than I am. That's... not reassuring? Also not reassuring is this report from Marketplace that the US is just nine transformers and one factory away from a nationwide, 18-month long electric blackout. And finally, Neil Degrasse Tyson is high as hell.

Twitter might let you fave people, not that you would. Programmers are driving themselves crazy. Isn't solving your psychological problems the point of the cocktail in the first place? Gawker bravely reveals that Chris Christie did not do porn. Chances that Courtney Love found Flight 370? Very slim. Very, very slim.

Prophet still, if bird or devil: Take thy beak from out my heart (via AVClub)

Today's Song: Let the Detroit Academy of Arts and Sciences kids choir make you Happy. (via Hypervocal)

~...and take thy tabs from off my door!~

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