On the controversial question of whether Harry Potter should have ended up with Hermione instead of Ron, O'Rourke chose Potter.
The president stormed out of a meeting on Wednesday, claiming Pelosi had accused him of engaging in a cover-up.
Barkley mocked Shaq for being willing to endorse every kind of product on TV.
The comical footage was in response to Trump's claim that planes are becoming "too complex to fly."
"Tucker when you defend child brides you don't go on the naughty list," Colbert said.
The president had some surprising answers.
"Hope heaven doesn't have a travel ban," one mocked-up gravestone read.
"I wonder if I sit real still if people will even notice I'm here," the imagined inner monologue mused.
The Late Show host joked on Twitter that he'd be happy to fill the role set to be vacated by John Kelly.
"Helen Mirren came out and without any warning kissed me on the lips, passionately with her hand on the back of my head, and everything has been downhill from then."
The advice was passed down to Rae from the likes of super-directors Shonda Rhimes, Ava DuVernay, Mara Brock Akil and Debbie Allen.
She'd make President Donald Trump "figure out narcissism is her least favorite sin."
"What Donald Trump wants is for us to stop calling his cruelty and fear and divisiveness wrong, but to join him in calling it right."
Colbert's comments came as Trump doubled down on his self-dubbed "spygate" theories.
The "Late Show" host just can't stay away from a Trump dossier joke.
"Well, after years of saying he was going to do it, he did it."
Giuliani's legal strategy, according to Colbert: "Step one: Go on every TV show known to man. Step two: Learn the facts of your case."
It would be a "terrible time for it to come out," Colbert joked.
President Trump is "easily baited into making mistakes," Avenatti said.
"I think she's earned a shopping spree."