Wait, What? Obama Still Smokes?!

The First Physical came and went Sunday, handing down a clean bill of health for President Obama—but we've been loving the feverish reaction to doc Jeff Kuhlman's note about "smoking cessation efforts." The New York Daily News wonders how much the president is still smoking, while CBS calls him "Smoker In Chief"; The Christian Science Monitor helpfully suggests to the president that instead of Nicorette he try "not inserting a cigarette into [his] mouth." Politico went with reporterly deadpan: "The president is chewing nicotine gum, according to White House press secretary Robert Gibbs." But Huff Po's Andy Borowitz wins the Headline Award: OBAMA TO GOP: I WILL QUIT SMOKING IF YOU WILL QUIT BEING DICKS.