Fury Over Woman Receiving Wedding Invite With One Day's Notice: 'Insulting'

A woman has sparked a fiery debate online over the merits of receiving a last-minute invitation to a friend or family member's wedding.

Writing in a Mumsnet post shared under the handle Stardust35, the woman explained she was given a "verbal invite" to a wedding with just a single day's notice and is currently on the fence over whether or not she should attend.

When it comes to weddings, it would appear Americans have few qualms about disinviting a guest. According to a YouGovAmerica poll of over 6,000 U.S. adults, 53 percent of respondents felt it was acceptable to disinvite someone from a wedding if they had valid reason. A further 8 percent, meanwhile, felt it was acceptable whatever the circumstances.

But while most people have no problems with guests being excluded, the idea of asking people at the last minute or inviting them to attend the nuptials in a casual manner appears to be a much thornier issue.

That disparity was highlighted in the responses generated by the Mumsnet post. Some could see little issue with going to a wedding after being invited at the last minute. "If I wanted to go and I liked the couple I would yeah," one user wrote.

"Every wedding will have last minute drop-outs," another commented. "It's not insulting to be asked at very short notice. If I thought I'd enjoy the day I'd go in a heartbeat and feel glad they felt comfortable asking me."

Others, however, strongly disagreed. "I wouldn't unless it's a spontaneous wedding and all the other guests got an invite the day before too," one Mumsnet user said. "Nope, clearly making up the numbers so I'd decline," another wrote

A woman and a wedding.
File photos of a woman on her phone and a wedding. A heated debate has erupted over the merits of last-minute wedding invites. fizkes/gorodenkoff/Getty

The topic of last-minute wedding invites has also proven divisive among experts.

Etiquette Expert Lisa Mirza Grotts appeared opposed to the idea. "Just like it's not ok not to RSVP to a wedding, it's even more so to be invited at the 11th hour," Grotts told Newsweek. "A wedding is a momentous and celebratory event. When we are invited the old fashioned way (4 to 6 weeks and by written invitation) and we cannot attend, we might let down the family. But the same can be said when an invite comes as an afterthought because Uncle Paul dies from guest list A making room for a guest on list B."

"Proper etiquette is all about making others feel comfortable no matter the situation," she continued. "In this case, wording will be key. For example 'Our final wedding count is in and we have some extra space, so we would love for you to bring a plus one' or 'We realize this is last minute, but we would really like for you to celebrate with us.'"

Jamie Rosler, an ordained wedding celebrant, was more open-minded to the idea though. "It comes down to how the individual will feel and behave once at the wedding," she told Newsweek. "If their discomfort with the last minute invitation outweighs their ability to be happy for the couple and enjoy the celebration, they should just say no thank you and wish them the best. If, however, they're available, excited to go, and able to make it work with minimal last minute hoop-jumping, then I say go for it."

She felt it was important to accept the invite in the spirit it was intended. Even if their intentions are not good, Rosler believes it can still be a positive experience.

"The invite means the guest's presence is wanted and is the most important gift," she said. "Should that turn out to not be the case and the couple is just trying to fill gaps and increase their present pile, then maybe they're not people to remain connected to, anyway, and at least you might get a fun party and a good story out of the experience."

Ultimately, it would appear that, as with anything to do with a wedding, last minute invites are a matter of personal taste.

Newsweek wasn't able to verify the details of the case.

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