What's Inside The 2018 Oscars Gift Bag? The Most Lavish Items Revealed

Don't feel too bad for the Oscar nominees who don't go home with a statuette this weekend—they're not exactly going home empty-handed.

Every year, the nominees are treated to lavish swag bags from sponsors, and every year, the contents get a little more ridiculous. A marketing company called Distinctive Assets has been in charge of these promotional gifts for the nominees for several years. (Perhaps you remember two years ago, when the Academy sued the company for offering some "less-than-wholesome" swag to nominees, including a $5,500 certificate for plastic surgery, a $1,900 "vampire breast lift," a $250 sex toy and a $250 marijuana vaporizer.)

Luckily, they kept it PG with 2018's "Everyone Wins" bag. Elle shared an inside look at the goodies nominees like Timothée Chalamet, Meryl Streep and Allison Janney will be getting—and most of it can't fit into a bag.

A week-long stay at Koloa Landing Resort at Poipu in Hawai'i.

It's not all expenses paid, but seven days at this luxury five-star resort in Hawai'i is nothing to sneeze at. There are two pools, a Jacuzzi, and most importantly, waterfalls. And it all takes place on the beautiful island of Kauai, which has it's very own tropical rainforest. Who needs an Academy Award?

A week-long spa trip at the Golden Door in Southern California.

For the celebs who don't have time to hop on a plane for their vacation, there's also a close-to-home option: The popular celebrity SoCal spa, Golden Door. You get massages, skin care, body care, hair care, the whole deal. It's all very zen.

A 12-night luxury Safari trip in Tanzania.

The traveling isn't over yet! For the A-lister who loves adventure, but not too much adventure, then explore the wildlife of the East African Serengeti Plains during the day, then go home luxury lodges and tents at night. You'll see wildebeest, zebra, lion, leopard, cheetah, hyenas and more.

A stay at a luxury villa in Greece.

That's right, this Oscars gift bag includes not one, not two, not three but four vacations for these celebrities to abscond on. The final was is a stay at Avaton Luxury Villas Resort in Halkidiki, Greece, which overlooks the Athos Peninsula and the Aegan Sea—you know, like where the gods supposedly lived.

199 'positivity' cards in a fancy box.

Here is something for the celebs to do on their plane rides to these luxury hotels—read 199 positive statement to lift their spirits.

A commissioned piece of art

Reian Williams Fine Art creates beautifully painted portraits on commission, and the Oscar nominees get to have their's done for free! Just what everyone in Hollywood needs—more pictures of their faces.

A Bluetooth speaker... that levitates.

Yes, you read that correctly. This speaker from Shop Modern has both Bluetooth and floating-in-midair capabilities. (Don't get too freaked out about witchcraft—it spins above a magnetic base.)

One phobia-relief therapy session

This one is odd, though perhaps useful for the Hollywood elite with specific fears: An 18-minute session with Kalliope Barlis, author of Phobia Relief: From Fear to Freedom.

10 sessions with a personal trainer

Here's the gift you know almost every nominee will cash in on: Ten free personal training sessions with Alexis Seletzky. Seemingly everyone in Hollywood is already doing this—so why not do it for free?

Other gifts include a conflict-free diamond necklace, a lifetime's supply of Oxygenetix facial foundation, and more. These losers will be well-pampered.

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