Wife Backed for 'Ruining Friend's Wedding' by Not Telling Husband He Smells

The internet has defended a woman for "ruining her friend's wedding" by not telling her husband that he smelled sooner.

Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/AcceptableScene6870 shared her story in order to get the opinions of the "AITA" community. The viral post has over 6,000 upvotes and 2,000 comments.

The original poster (OP) began her post by explaining that she's been having issues with her husband to the point where she told him she "needed space" and he moved back into his mom's house for the time being.

One of their longtime friends was getting married this week and they both were invited. Even though he was not living with her, they decided to go together and he would move back in after. They did, however, show up separately.

Woman backed for "ruining" friends wedding
A woman has been backed for "ruining friend's wedding" because she didn't tell her husband sooner that he smelled. Alihan Usullu/iStock / Getty Images Plus

The OP was first to arrive. When her husband did, he went over to join the conversation she was having with friends.

She wrote, "He came over to us and immediately I noticed this rotten stench on him. He smelled like he'd been dumpster diving. It made my eyes water a little. I noticed our friends noticing, but he was completely oblivious and kept on chatting. I tried to let him know discreetly but he was not getting the hint at all. We took our seats in the chapel and the service was beautiful. By this point my nose had pretty much tuned out the smell but it was clearly affecting other people and I still hadn't had a chance to let him know.

"After the service I saw an old girlfriend I hadn't seen in years and wanted to catch up. Apparently, while I was chatting with her, a friend had pulled Hubby aside and basically told him he stunk. He got upset and demanded we leave immediately. In the car we argued and he told me I was a horrible wife to let him embarrass himself like that in front of friends and I was probably laughing behind his back," she continued.

When they got in the car, he called her out, saying that it was her responsibility as a wife to call him at his mother's house to remind him to shower, since he can be forgetful. During the drive home, all he did was "berate" her.

The following morning, she checked her phone and saw she and her husband were taken out of group chats with friends. Apparently, the OP heard through friends that the bride felt the couple "ruined her day" and that she didn't want to speak to them.

"I'm shocked and really hurt by this and have been feeling guilty all day. I didn't want to embarrass him by letting him know when other people were around but now I've cost him friends and feel like I handled it all horribly," she admitted.

Newsweek reached out to u/AcceptableScene6870 for comment.

Newsweek has published many articles regarding hygiene including the hygiene tips that were sent to the female staff at an employee's job, how the internet was stunned at a man who doesn't use shampoo or toothpaste, and Newsweek's best infection prevention products of 2021.

How to politely tell someone they smell

Telling someone something that could potentially embarrass them is never fun nor easy. According to yourdevan.com, have a close friend of the person tell them if you're not as close to the person. Another way is to try and use the nicest words possible while telling them in a private area so there are not many people around. Also, give them hints by discussing different hygiene products or perfumes or asking if they are in need of any.

Everyone needs to look after their own personal hygiene. So what are the best products to have in the house? Per thesurvivalmom.com, toothpaste, toothbrushes, deodorant, mouthwash, Q-tips, body wash, toilet paper, garbage bags, hand sanitizer, lotion, feminine hygiene products and more are essential for having in your emergency kit.

Redditors response

"[Not the a**hole]. Your husband is the one who ruined their day by showing up smelling like a whale carcass. You could have said something. You did not. From his reaction I'd bet he'd be mad either way, telling him or not telling him. And honestly he should be embarrassed. He is a grown man, living with his mom, who still requires his wife call him daily to remind him to shower. F that," u/ghostofumich2005 said, receiving the top comment with over 16,000 upvotes.

"I've seen in this sub 'my husband got mad at me for forgetting to wake him up', 'my husband got mad at me for making him the wrong food', 'my husband got mad at me for blablahhh', but I've NEVERRRRR seen MY HUSBAND GOT MAD AT ME FOR NOT TELLING HIM TO SHOWER. This is a historical day for men's incompetence in hygiene. [Not the a**hole]," u/capricornmoney exclaimed.

U/tatasz commented, "[Not the a**hole]. How old is your husband, 5? If he doesn't shower, it's on him. Honestly, I'm not surprised you need some space. But what you really need is a divorce."

"You want to stay married to this excuse of man? Seriously? No one and I mean literally no one should have to tell their spouse to shower. Being forgetful is no excuse for poor hygiene. Does he not have a nose? Is he incapable of smelling or even feeling the filth on his body? The fact that he berates you and puts this entire situation on you would be enough for me to make the separation official. This is appalling behavior." u/straightaspasta wrote.