Wife Banning Husband From 'Extravagant' Bachelor Party Sparks Fury

A wife has been slammed for wanting to ban her husband from an "extravagant" bachelor party over costs, claiming he would blow most of their savings on the trip.

The mom posted her dilemma to Mumsnet, under username Coldlistened, explaining they'd been left with around £2,000 ($2,623) in savings, after she was forced to fork out around £6,000 ($7,871) for private surgery.

Her other half has been invited to a bachelor party in Canada, with 10 days in a log cabin with his closest buddies, which she admitted is his "dream" vacation.

"DH [Darling Husband] and his friends are all very outdoorsy, into fishing and hiking and mountain biking etc. His friend is getting married near Christmas and wants to arrange a very extravagant stag do [bacheor party]," she wrote.

But after doing the math, she figured flights are around £600 ($787), with the family thought to be based in the U.K, while the cabin is £2,000 ($2,623), split between four.

She said: "So it's going to be at least £1,100 ($1,443). The stag will be paying for drinks, food and activities."

Weddings are expensive, not just for the bride and groom but also for guests after they've paid for accommodation, travel and outfits—and the bachelor and bachelorette parties.

According to a 2019 survey from wedding planning website The Knot, the average cost of a bachelor party was found to be $1,362 for events longer than five days, And for those who have to fly there, nearly 60 percent forked out $1,000 or more.

The wife continued: "DH really wants to go and his friends have confirmed they are going. His friends are all well off and in good jobs. He'll be able to get the leave off. But we will be left with £900 ($1,180) in savings.

"We're not really in a position to build our savings up again at the minute, especially with the energy crisis. The £2,000 ($2,623) is our emergency fund, and I'm anxious at the thought of half of it being blown like this.

"And also if it were to be spent on a holiday I feel it's fairer if it's a family holiday with me and DC [Darling Child]. I work full-time as well as him so I don't know how I feel about it being spent on his dream holiday while me and DC stay at home."

She said her husband felt as if she was being "mean," and while she admitted he "works hard," she clarified: "It's not that I don't want him to go, I know it sounds brilliant for him and he'd love it and if we had the money I'd be thrilled for him but I don't think we can justify it at the moment."

But the issue of the surgery cost raised its head, Coldlistened saying they spent around £6,000 ($7,871) of their savings as she was in "absolute complete agony every day."

She explained the surgery was for endometriosis, which the NHS defines as "a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the womb starts to grow in other places, such as the ovaries and fallopian tubes."

"DH has now said that because our other savings went on my surgery, it's not fair I'm unsure over his holiday. I think this is unfair, I was in a lot of pain. I'd much rather have not needed the surgery so that I could treat myself with the money instead!" she added.

The post has amassed more than 1,000 responses, and can be read here, as people felt she was being unfair to say her husband couldn't go on the trip.

Quitelikeit thought: "I would let him go—it's a once in a lifetime opportunity type of thing—maybe he could take a loan out or something? Like he said you spent thousands on your surgery—it was optional as you were on a waiting list."

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor said: "YABU [You Are Being Unreasonable] this sounds like a once in a life time trip. He can't not go."

The graphic below, provided by Statista, shows the average cost of an American wedding.

Infographic: The Huge Costs of an American Wedding | Statista You will find more infographics at Statista

CharlotteRose90 commented: "I'm sorry but I'm with him. Your needs don't justify him not being able to spend joint money on something he wants. You had yours which I'm guessing was a lot more then £2k. It's his dream holiday and if you were my partner I'd resent you forever for trying to boss me into not going."

Parky04 pointed out: "If you don't 'let' him go then your relationship might not be the same again. His mates will be talking about this trip for a long time and your DH will resent you."

CatsArePeople wrote: "YABU. Its once a lifetime thing, not like he's doing it regularly. Its only money—you both work and can build it back up."

PortalooSunset replied: "ABU. I mean a holiday and surgery are hardly comparable, but a once in a lifetime trip like that? I wouldn't be standing in his way. And we don't have savings."

mycatisannoying commented: "YABU and really joyless. Sorry. If he has been extremely supportive, then it might be nice to 'let' him go."

Highfivemum reckoned: "If it's his dream holiday and a once in a lifetime then YABU. Make some cutbacks before the holiday. Don't stop him going."

Although KatsuKatsu said: "Surgery is nothing like a holiday. He's ridiculous. Could you ask him what his plan for building the emergency pot back up is?"

AnneLovesGilbert responded: "I'd have been sympathetic till he tried to compare it to your surgery. That's properly low and heartless."

While ItsYabbaDabbaDoTime added: "I think as a compromise he gets to spend £1,000 on the holiday & does overtime or a part time job to fund the remainder."

In response to the backlash, Coldlistened defended herself, saying they weren't able to cut back or save each month, adding: "I really want him to go but I'm terrified of us not having that £2000 if we need it. If the boiler breaks are our kids supposed to just suffer? If he were to get a part-time job to fund it I'd be behind him all of the way."

File photo of a bachelor party.
File photo of a bachelor party. A wife wants to prevent her husband from going on a pricy bachelor party. bernardbodo/Getty Images