Wife Cheered for Sleeping With Colleague After Husband Wanted Open Marriage

A woman is being applauded online for continuing with her open marriage, despite her husband's protests.

Sharing her story with Reddit's r/TrueOffMyChest on 22 August, user u/throwawayopenmarrige explained how her non-monogamous relationship came to be.

A year ago, her husband told her that he was no longer physically attracted to her. The couple hadn't had sex in almost five years, since their youngest son was born, and he wanted to give polyamory a try.

"He said he loved me more than anything in the world and that the rest of the relationship was perfect but he needed to have sex or he would go crazy," she wrote.

"I was taken aback but I started asking him about the definition of open marriage and we discussed it over a few weeks.

"[To be honest] I was feeling sexually deprived and the idea started to grow on me. I said yes and asked if there were any rules and he said usually every couple had their own rules."

The new relationship 'ideal'?

Research conducted by Ashley Madison—a dating app for people searching for an affair partner—found that 26 percent of Americans are interested in opening up their relationship, including 40 percent of Generation Z.

Unsurprisingly, 52 percent of Ashley Madison members think that society would benefit from normalizing non-monogamy. 60 percent believed the divorce rate would drop, while 50 percent felt there would be less pressure to meet a partner's sexual needs.

Twenty-six percent of Americans surveyed said an open relationship would be their ideal, with casual partners alongside a core partner.

When it comes to opening up their relationship, women are more open to the possibility. Twenty-six percent of female Ashley Madison users have a non-monogamous agreement with their partner, while only 13 percent of male users said the same. Women are also more satisfied with these partnerships, with 82 percent of female members feeling fulfilled, compared to 74 percent of men. Sixty-five percent of female users also said they don't believe in monogamy, with 56 percent only realizing this in the last 12 months.

Wife Cheered for Sleeping With Colleague
A stock photo of a woman resting her hand on a colleague's arm in an office setting. Reddit users advised the woman not to "close" her marriage after her husband changed his mind about an open relationship. LightFieldStudios/iStock/Getty Images Plus

'I have missed this so much.'

The couple agreed not to bring new partners home and to always use protection, as well as keep each other up to date with who they are with and where they are. Within a week, her husband was meeting new women, much to his wife's chagrin.

"He told me everything, showed me pictures and was gone most of the nights," she said. "Not gonna lie, I felt like s*** but I thought I needed to give it time."

Needing to feel a connection to her sexual partners, the poster began to flirt with a man at work called "J."

"He [has] always been pleasant and extra chatty with me," she said.

"I finally decided that I was ready to start sleeping with others. I told J about my arrangement. He was disappointed at first but then he said he was in.

"I went home to my husband and asked him if he was going to do anything that Friday and he said no. I told him that it was good because I needed him to be with the children. I showed him J and told him I was meeting him Friday. He was silent."

Friday rolled around, and her husband texted her to say he was stuck at work, so couldn't watch the children. This happened for several weeks and the poster started to get annoyed. Instead of an evening date, she asked J to meet her at lunch.

"I went to his place and it was amazing," she wrote. "I have missed this so much. The feeling that I'm desired and someone's eyes on my filled with lust for ME, MY body."

Unfortunately, her husband was "livid" that his wife had "broken a rule" by not telling him beforehand.

"I told him that I didn't, he knew that I was seeing this guy and that I've been trying to make time," she wrote.

He gave her the silent treatment for the remainder of the evening, before waking her up in the middle of the night.

"We had sex 3 times," she said. "First in almost 5 years. And we have had sex every night since.

"Now he's saying that he is attracted to me again and that's why we need to close the marriage again but I don't want to. I like having other options and we're not hurting anyone."

Redditors backed the woman's decision to continue seeing other people, with the post receiving over 15,000 upvotes and more than 1,800 comments.

"Read this story so many times," said schwarzmalerin. "Husband suggests open marriage to get a free pass to screw around, at the end, wife finds out she liked the arrangement, husband is furious. I don't know if I should laugh or cry."

"Your husband didn't want an open relationship," wrote Roadgoddess. "He wanted to be able to screw around.

"I hate to tell you this but I don't think there's a lot of options for your relationship long-term."

MimiBaybees agreed, writing: "He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. He actively did things to avoid having you go out and meet J but he was able to go out and do whoever, whenever. Do not close this marriage back up."

While Gizzie123 commented: "You see, the problem is that a lot of the posts recently are failed relationships or failing marriages that resort to poly or open relationships to fix their problems. Shockingly, it rarely works."

Newsweek has reached out to u/throwawayopenmarrige for comment. We could not verify the details of the post.

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