'Very Flabby': Wife Urged To Admit She Doesn't Fancy Overweight Husband

A woman has admitted she is no longer attracted to her husband of six years, after he piled on the pounds and now has a "huge belly."

She admitted her feelings to Mumsnet, under username Brickys, as she explained she's known her spouse for a decade, and they have a two-year-old child together.

The mom wrote: "Over the years, he has let himself go. As mean as it sounds saying this, he's got a huge belly and is now very flabby. I'm just simply not attracted to him anymore."

His weight has affected their sex life as well, as she continued: "I want to be, but when I see him naked I just think what on earth has happened. We have sex once a week but I don't enjoy it and I now fake my orgasms because he does nothing for me anymore and I just want sex to be over and done with."

File photo of pot belly.
File photo of pot belly. A woman has been urged to admit she no longer fancies her "overweight" husband. Sian Kennedy/Getty Images

In the past she has tried to encourage him to shed the pounds, which "lasts two days" before he returns to his old ways.

"I have said a few times that we should get back into shape and eat better and exercise more (admittedly, I still have some baby weight I never lost)," she said.

The mom explained she was a U.K. size 10 (U.S. 6), and is now a size 12 (U.S. 8), and when they first met her husband was running triathlons.

In a comment, she later said: "I am 5'7, and have the hourglass figure, with a 34DD bust and jean size in 32 inch (not sure what that measures). So yes, I'm not skinny, but I'm not fat either and I haven't changed much since I met my husband, apart from a few fine lines developing, some flab around my c section scar and some weight from when I was pregnant."

She continued in the original post: "I don't know what else I can do. I want to be attracted to him and at this point in our marriage in our 30s, I really shouldn't be having these feelings. I don't want to be unattracted and turned off by my husband."

The post, which can be read here, amassed more than 130 replies, as people urged her to be honest with her husband.

Thelastshadowpuppet advised: "You need to be honest with him op, hard as that may be. Be brave!"

A580Hojas thought: "Yanbu to find fat a turn off. We're not talking about just being a bit cuddly here are we?" Dolphinsarentcommon commented: "OP you definitely are not being unreasonable. I would find any man who is fat unattractive."

Cottagegardenflower said: "Since when is being honest fat shaming? She doesn't fancy him and fakes orgasms. Why should she need to do that to save his ego? It's called telling it like it is."

I know it would destroy him if he knew I felt this way."
Wife

TheWayoftheLeaf advised: "Honest and open conversation. DP and I have had some difficult conversations in the past and it's not fun, but it does yield results."

Although Thelastshadowpuppet added: "Well aren't you a peach op. Imagine if this was posted by a man."

After receiving a lot of feedback, the wife sought to explain how he got into that position, saying: "He gradually stopped exercising whilst increasing the amount of bad food (ie sugar and junk) that he has.

"I think before we lived together, he had more free time as he lived alone and then when we moved in, he understandably wanted to be home more.

"Then throw in lockdown and trying to survive with a baby and toddler and any self care went out the window."

She thought she wasn't being "superficial," but added: "I wish I was brave, but he is such a sensitive and gentle man that I know it would hurt him. I know it would destroy him if he knew I felt this way."

The graph below, provided by Statista, shows common U.S. diets.

Infographic: American Diets | Statista You will find more infographics at Statista

While the wife didn't specify how much her husband weighed, the U.K's NHS, thought to be where the couple are based, advised the best way to shift the pounds is a "combination of diet and exercise."

They shared twelve tips online, saying it's important to not skip meals, and to eat regularly.

Make sure you're getting lots of fruit and vegetables, eat high fibre food, drink lots of water, don't keep junk food in the house, but also don't ban any foods.

Being more active, using a smaller plate, and reading food labels are all beneficial, as is cutting out alcohol and planning meals in advance.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via mailto:life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.